Liverpool Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    In Year 1981
    1. Prince Charles got married
    2. Liverpool crowned Champions of Europe
    3. Australia lost the Ashes
    4. Pope Died
    In Year 2005
    1. Prince Charles got married (again)
    2. Liverpool crowned Champions of Europe(again)
    3. Australia lost the Ashes (again)
    4. Pope Died (again)
    Moral of the story -
    In future, if Prince Charles decides to re-marry....
    Please warn the Pope

    Modena, Italy:

    The Ferrari F1 Team fired their entire Pit- Crew Yesterday. The announcement was followed by Ferrari's Decision to take advantage of the English Government's "Work For the Dole" Scheme and hire unemployed youths from Liverpool.

    The decision to hire them was brought on by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths in Liverpool were able to remove a set of car wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing crew can only do it in 8 seconds.

    This was thought to be an excellent yet bold move by Ferrari Management, as most races are won & lost in the pits, Ferrari would have an advantage over every team.

    However Ferrari expectations were easily exceeded, as during the Crews first practice session; not only were "da boyz from Bootle" able to change the tyres in under 6 seconds but within 12 seconds they had resprayed, rebadged, and had sold the vehicle over to the McLaren more...

    1. Well, it's Liverpool two, Ipswich nil, and if the score stays this way, I've got to fancy Liverpool for the win.2. He had an eternity to play that ball, but took too long.3. And so they have not been able to improve on their 100% record.4. With the last kick of the game, he scored with a header.5. Well, it's a fabulous kaleidoscope of colour: almost all the Brazilians are wearing yellow shirts.6. If that had gone on, it would definitely have been a goal.7. Their manager, Howard Wilkinson, isn't here today, which strongly suggests that he may be elsewhere.8. I am a firm believer that if one team scores a goal, the other need to score two to win.9. If a team scores early on, it often takes an early lead.10. You cannot possibly have counted the number of passes made, but there were eight.

    Stupid Things Said In The World Of Soccer:
    1. Well, it's Liverpool two, Ipswich nil, and if the score stays this way, I've got to fancy Liverpool for the win.
    2. He had an eternity to play that ball, but took too long.
    3. And so they have not been able to improve on their 100% record.
    4. With the last kick of the game, he scored with a header.
    5. Well, it's a fabulous kaleidescope of colour: almost all the Brazilians are wearing yellow shirts.
    6. If that had gone on, it would definitely have been a goal.
    7. Their manager, Howard Wilkinson, isn't here today, which strongly suggests that he may be elsewhere.
    8. I am a firm believer that if one team scores a goal, the other needs to score two to win.
    9. If a team scores early on, it often takes an early lead.
    10. You cannot possibly have counted the number of passes made, but there were eight.

    1981
    1. Prince Charles gets married
    2. Liverpool Champion's league winner
    3. Pope dies.2005
    1. Prince Charles gets married
    2. Liverpool Champion's league winner
    3. Pope dies.If Prince Charles gets married agan and

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