Lit Jokes

Santa Singh( a Sardar from Jalandhar.. they are the one who smoke, despite the religious ban) tried to light his cigarette. He struck the first match on the seat of his pants, but it wouldn't light.
He tried another. It wouldn't light. The third one finally lit. lit his cigarette, carefully blew the match out and put it in his vest pocket. "What for did you put that match in your vest
pocket?"
"That's a good match. I'll use it again."

I think the war between the smokers and non-smokers is heating up a bit. I went into a restaurant for
lunch the other day and, as is my practice, requested a table in the ``no smoking'' section. They
seated me, and I went about the business of ordering and eating my food.
Somewhere between the clam chowder and a club sandwich, I caught the smell of nearby burning tobacco.
Upon looking around, I noticed the man in the booth next to me smoking a freshly lit cigarette.
Overcoming my natural reticence regarding confrontation, I spoke to the man. ``Excuse me, sir, but,
when you came in, did you ask to be seated in the no-smoking section?''
"Yes, I don't like the smell of smoke when I am eating any more than anyone else."
I asked, "Then why are you smoking that cigarette?"
"I've finished eating."
Silly me, it was obvious to the most casual observer.
I called the server over and made her aware of the more...

Santa Singh tried to light his cigarette. He struck the first match on the seat of his pants, but it wouldn`t light. He tried another. It wouldn`t light. The third one finally lit. lit his cigarette, carefully blew the match out and put it in his vest pocket.
"What for did you put that match in your vest pocket?"
"That`s a good match. I`ll use it again."

There once was a lonely guy who bought a bird. The pet store manager said that the bird was a special bird and could sing, but only if you lit a match or lighter under his wings. The guy took the bird home and lit a match under the birds right wing and it began singing Jingle Bells. Then he lit a match under its left wing and it started to sing Silent Night. Just to see what the bird would do, the man lit a match under the birds balls and it began singing Chestnuts Roasting On an Open Fire.

A game warden noticed how a particular fellow named Sam consistently caught more fish than anyone else, whereas the other guys would only catch three or four a day. Sam would come in off the lake with a boat full. Stringer after stringer was always packed with freshly caught trout. The warden, curious, asked Sam his secret. The successful fisherman invited the game warden to accompany him and observe.

So the next morning the two met at the dock and took off in Sam's boat. When they got to the middle of the lake, Sam stopped the boat, and the warden sat back to see how it was done.

Sam's approach was simple. He took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it in the air. The explosion rocked the lake with such a force that dead fish immediately began to surface. Sam took out a net and started scooping them up.

Well, you can imagine the reaction of the game warden. When he recovered from the shock of it all, he began yelling at Sam. "You can't do more...