Lisa Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Knock Knock

    Hot 1 month ago

    Knock Knock
    Who's there?
    Lisa who?
    Lisa a new car from $199 down and $199 a month!


    Hot 2 years ago

    Teacher:Can anyone tell me what a shamrock is?
    Jimmy:It's a fake diamond, Miss.
    What's the longest piece of furniture in the school?
    The multiplication table.
    'Why are you crying, Amanda?'asked the teacher.
    'Cos Jenny's broken my new doll, Miss,' she cried.
    'How did she do that?'
    'I hit her on the head with it.'
    The night-school teacher asked one of his pupils when he had last sat an exam.'1945'said the lad.
    'Good lord! That's more than 50 years ago.'
    'No, Sir! An a hour and a half ago. It's quarter past nine now.'
    What is the most popular sentence at school?
    I don't know!
    Teacher: 'Are you good at arithmetic?'
    Hal: 'Well, yes and no.'
    Teacher: 'What do you mean, yes and no?'
    Hal: 'Yes, I'm no good at arithmetic.'
    Science teacher: 'Lisa, can you tell me one substance that conducts electricity?'
    Lisa: 'Why, er...'
    Science teacher: 'Wire is correct.'
    When is a yellow school book not a yellow school more...

    A Geography teacher stands in front of a map of the world.
    Geography Teacher: Tony, can you tell me where in the world America is placed on this map?
    Tony shows him America.
    Geography Teacher: Now, Lisa, can you tell me the name of the guy who discovered America?
    Lisa: Tony just did!!

    Lisa was playing bowling with her friend Marie. Lisa got a strike, then one more strike. Then, she got another strike. She had just gotten 3 strikes in a row!
    "I just got 3 strikes in a row!" said Lisa.
    Marie said, "You're out, you just got 3 strikes in a row!"

    Q: What did Elvis say after seeing Michael and Lisa Marie on television?
    A: "Boy, that's a relief. I thought she married a black guy!"

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