Linda Jokes / Recent Jokes
Sing the song below to the tune of "Summer Lovin'" from the musical "Grease".
Bill: "Summer intern, had me a blast"
Monica: "White house intern, happened so fast"
Bill: "Met a girl, crazy for me"
Monica: "Met the prez, down on my knees"
Bill: "Summer days, sucking away, oh, i, but those summer nights"
Investigation Committee: "Well, ah.. well, ah.... well, ah. uh Tell us more, tell us more"
Linda Trip: "try to remember your best"
Investigation Committee: "Tell us more, tell us more"
Kenneth Star: "Did he come on your dress?"
Bill: "Wanted to screw her but she had a cramp"
Monica: "The prez is sexy - he makes my panties damp"
Bill: "She gave me head, right in the White House"
Monica: "I said OK, just don't come in my mouth:
Investigation Committee: "Well, ah.. well, more...
This one most certainly must have been a blonde:
WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline)
Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her inlaws and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.
The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from more...
A guy goes down for breakfast and it is quite obvious that his wife is pissed with him. He asks what is the matter. She replies, "Last night you were talking in your sleep and I want to know who Linda is?"
Thinking quickly on his feet he tells her that Linda was' Lucky Linda' and was actually a name of a horse that he bet on that day and won $100. She seemed quite happy with the explanation and he went off to work.
When he got home that night, his wife was pissed again. He asked what the matter was now.
She replied "Your horse phoned."
A lady named Linda went to Arkansas last week to visit her in-laws, and while there, went to a store.
She parked next to a car with a woman sitting in it, her eyes closed and hands behind her head,
apparently sleeping. When Linda came out a while later, she again saw the woman, her hands still
behind her head but with her eyes open. The woman looked very strange, so Linda tapped on the window
and said "Are you okay?"
The woman answered "I've been shot in the head, and I am holding my brains in."
Linda didn't know what to do, so she ran into the store, where store officials called the paramedics.
They had to break into the car because the door was locked. When they got in, they found that the
woman had bread dough on the back of her head and in her hands.
A Pilsbury biscuit canister had exploded, apparently from the heat in the car, making a loud
explosion like that of a gunshot, and hit her in the head. When she more...
Pillsbury Dough Boy wanted for attempted murderA lady named Linda went to Arkansas last week to visit her in-laws, and while there, went to a store. She parked next to a car with a womansitting in it, her eyes closed and hands behind her head, apparentlysleeping. When Linda came out a while later, she again saw the woman, her hands still behind her head but with her eyes open. The woman looked very strange, so Linda tapped on the window and said,"Are you okay?" The woman answered, "I've been shot in the head, and Iam holding my brains in." Linda didn't know what to do, so she ran into the store, where storeworkers called the paramedics. They had to break into the car becausethe door was locked. When they got in, they found that the woman hadbread dough on the back of her head and in her hands. A Pillsbury biscuit cannister had exploded, apparently from the heatin the car, making a loud explosion like that of a gunshot, and hit herin the head. When she reached back more...
Pillsbury Dough Boy wanted for attempted murderA lady named Linda went to Arkansas last week to visit her in-laws, and while there, went to a store. She parked next to a car with a womansitting in it, her eyes closed and hands behind her head, apparentlysleeping. When Linda came out a while later, she again saw the woman, her hands still behind her head but with her eyes open.The woman looked very strange, so Linda tapped on the window and said,"Are you okay?" The woman answered, "I've been shot in the head, and Iam holding my brains in."Linda didn't know what to do, so she ran into the store, where storeworkers called the paramedics. They had to break into the car becausethe door was locked. When they got in, they found that the woman hadbread dough on the back of her head and in her hands.A Pillsbury biscuit cannister had exploded, apparently from the heatin the car, making a loud explosion like that of a gunshot, and hit herin the head. When she reached back to more...
Linda Tripp and and Ken Starr were cruising along a country road one
evening when a cow ran in front of the car. Ken tried to avoid it but
couldn't.
The cow was killed.
Linda told Ken to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what
happened. About an hour later he staggered back to the car with his
clothes in total disarray. He was holding a bottle of wine in one hand, a
cigar in the other and smiling happily.
"What happened?" asked Linda.
"Well," Ken shyly replied "the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me
the cigar, and their beautiful daughter made mad passionate love to me."
"My God, what did you tell them?" asked Linda.
The driver replied: "That I was giving Linda Tripp a ride, and I just
killed the cow."