Lifts Jokes

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    Proud little girl

    Hot 5 years ago

    a little boy and girl were playing one day when the little boy opens his pants and says, bet you dont have one of these! The little girl lifts her skirt, looks down, begins to cry then runs home to her mother.The next day, the little girl approaches the boy, lifts her skirt and with a big grin states:My mommy told me with one of these i can get all of those i want!

    A man and his wife are on vacation in Tibet. While shopping in a small village, the wife asks her husband what time it was, and looking down at his wrist the man realized he had left his watch in the motel room. After a few unsuccessful attempts to find an english speaking local, the couple finally finds an elderly man sitting quietly on the street with his donkey.
    "Excuse me," the husband says, "could you tell us the time?"
    "Absolutely", replies the elderly man, and with that he reaches down and lifts the donkey's balls. "It is 3:10", the man exclaims.
    "Thank you" replies the wife in a surprised voice. And the couple continues on their way. After doing some shopping and grabbing a bite to eat. The couple return to the old man for the time.
    Again the elderly man lifts the donkey's balls and says, "It is now 4:45."
    By this time the husband is completely amazed. "Please show me how you can tell the time more...

    bin laden, sadam hussane were sitting in a cave thinking of ways to bomb the U.S.A. and bin laden had his camel with him.
    A man walks in lifts up the camels tail then walks out, then another man walks in lifts up the camels tail then walks out.
    Sadam is looking a bit puzzled so he gose and asks a gard outside "
    why are people coming in the cave, looking at the camels ass, then walking out?"
    the gard replys "
    oh, theres a man out there telling them that theres a camel in there with two arseholes."

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    This cowboy walks into the saloon and orders a whiskey. The bartender slides it along the bar and the cowboy downs it in one gulp. Immediately he rushes back out the bar, goes to his horse, lifts its tail, and gives it a huge smacking kiss there.

    He then goes back into the bar and orders another whiskey. The bartender slides it along the bar and once again the cowboy downs it in one gulp then rushes out the bar, goes to his horse, lifts its tail, and gives it a huge smacking kiss there.

    He goes back into the bar and orders another whiskey. By this time there are a number of other patrons looking at him with a fair bit of interest. The bartender decides he'd better ask what's going on before the cowboy gets too drunk to answer.

    "So, Cowboy, why is it that every time you order a whiskey you go out and kiss your horse on the bum?"

    The Cowboy (in his best drawl) replies "Chapped lips."

    The bartender says with some more...

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