There Is No Such Thing As A Lesbian, There Are Just Girls Who Haven’t Met Chuck Norris
An obnoxious drunk in a bar keeps hitting on an a lesbian waiting for her date. The drunk just won't take no for an answer.
"Tell you what, I'll sleep with you if you can name one thing a man can do for me that my vibrator can't!" the lesbian smirks.
The obnoxious drunk thinks for a moment. "Okay, let's see your vibrator buy the next round of drinks!"
1. What do you call a cupboard full of lesbians? A licker cabinet.2. What do you call an Eskimo lesbian? A Klondyke.3. What do you call 100 lesbians with guns? Militia Etheridge.4. Why can't lesbians diet and wear make-up at the same time? Because they can't eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on their face.5. Why do lesbians like to be reincarnated as whales? So they can have 10 foot tongues and breathe out of the tops of their heads.6. What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe? Fur Traders.7. What is a lesbian dinosaur called? A Lickalotapuss.8. What do you call a lesbian with long fingers? Well Hung.9. What do two lesbians do when they are having their periods? Fingerpaint.10. What do lesbians call an open can of tuna? POTPOURRI.11. What did the lesbian vampire say to her partner? See you next month.12. Did you hear that Ellen Degeneres drowned? She was found face down in Ricki Lake.13. How can you tell a tough lesbian bar? Even the pool table doesn't have balls.14. Do you know what drag more...
Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
Q. What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn't?
A. A navel.
Q. What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine?
A. You can bung your load in a washing machine and it won't call you a week later.
Q. Why did god create Adam before he created eve?
A. Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.
Q. What is a lesbian's favorite thing to eat?
A. A Klondike Bar
Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. "How do you breath through something so small?"
Q. Why don't women wear watches?
A. There's a clock on the stove!
Q. What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.
Q. Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms?
A. They hang around after the man more...
A young lesbian goes to her gynecologist for her yearly pelvic
examination. She puts on the paper gown and awaits him to come into
the exam room. He instructs her to get up onto the table and place
her feet in the stirrups.
As he is examining her she hears him saying "mmmm... mmmhmmm". He
completes the examination, instructs her to dress and then meet him
in his office when she is done.
In his office she asks him if there was anything unusual that he
observed during the exam because she could not help but hear his
"Oh, that" he says." I was just admiring you. You have the cleanest
vaginal area that I have ever seen in all my years of practice."
The young woman proudly smiled and replied, "Why thank you! I have a
woman come in twice a week and clean it!"