Knights Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    King Arthur knew that Guinevere was cheating on him, but he didn't know who with. Intending to find out, he had her fit with a special chastity belt, lined on either side by razor blades.
    Several days later, Arthur had all his knights line up and drop trousers so he could inspect any damage to their members. He was shocked to find that all the knights except Lancelot were missing part or all of their equipment.
    Embracing Lancelot, Arthur said, "Thank you, you have no idea what your loyalty means to me."
    "It meanf a wot to me altho," replied the tongueless knight.

    A huge fleet of the english army came to a hill, on the bottom of the hill, there was a forest of trees. Just before the king was about to go down into it he heard a voice from the forest it yelled,

    " ONE IRISH MAN WILL DEFEAT THE WHOLE ENGLISH ARMY!!"

    The king was outraged and he sent two of his best knights down. After much clashing of swords there was blood curdling screams and all was silent.

    Again the king heard
    " ONE IRISH MAN WILL DEFEAT THE WHOLE ENGLISH ARMY!!"

    He was now so furious that he sent twenty of his knights down. There were screams of agony and pain...then all was quiet.

    again they heard
    " ONE IRISH MAN WILL DEFEAT THE WHOLE ENGLISH ARMY!!"

    The king was know seeing red and in his fury he sent the remaining of his fleet down to the forest. There were screams an clashing of swords and then all was quiet.

    The king was dumbfounded!! But one of his more...

    1. Battle droids in a high tech galactic civilisation where FTL travel is common have targeting systems inferior to those on a F-15.

    2. Actually, their targeting systems are inferior to a spastic eight year old with a slingshot.

    3. After the Jedi Knights have proven they can deflect laser bolts with their light sabers, the battle droids never think to stop firing.

    4. Rather than having integral weapons systems, battle droids are cleverly designed to carry weapons that can be picked up and used against them by their opponents.

    5. In the Star Wars universe, "Palpatine" means "Clinton."

    6. A Phantom Menace character's level of annoying goofiness is directly proportional to the number of action figures of said character Lucasfilms hopes to sell to small children.

    7. The Planet Naboo has underwater Rastafarians, but not underwater ganja.

    8. Darth Maul has a black robe, a black shirt, black more...

    All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades.
    One knight told his best friend - "My bride is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world. It would be a terrible waste if no man could have her. Therefore, as my best and most trusted friend, I am leaving you the key to her chastity belt to use should I not return from the Crusade."
    The company of knights were only a mile or so out of town when they noticed a cloud of dust approaching.
    Thinking it might be an important message from the town the column halted.
    A horseman approached. It was the knight's best friend.
    He yells - "Hey, you gave me the wrong key!!"

    All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades.
    One knight told his best friend - "My bride is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world. It would be a terrible waste if no man could have her. Therefore, as my best and most trusted friend, I am leaving you the key to her chastity belt to use should I not return from the Crusade."
    The company of knights were only a mile or so out of town when they noticed a cloud of dust approaching.
    Thinking it might be an important message from the town the column halted.
    A horseman approached. It was the knight's best friend.
    He yelss - "Hey, you gave me the wrong key!!"

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