Knight Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Once in a medieval times, there was a King who was getting sort of bored after dinner onenight. He decided to hold a contest of who at the court had the mightiest "weapon". Thefirst knight stood up and proclaimed that he had the mightiest weapon... he pulled down hispants and tied a 5 pound weight around it. The weapon doth rose. The crowds cheered... thewomen swooned... the children waved multi-colored banners... and the band played appropriatemusic. Another knight stood up and yelled that he had the mightiest weapon. He dropped his pantsand tied a 10 pound weight to himself. The weapon doth rose. The crowds cheered... thewomen swooned... the children waved multi-colored banners... and the band playedappropriate music. After several more knights tried to prove their superiority... the King finally spoke out."I have the mightiest weapon of them all!" He dropped his pants and tied, not a 10 pound, not a 20 pound, not ever a thirty pound, but a 40 pound weight to more...

    Before he went off to the wars, King Arthur locked his lovely wife, Guinevere, into her chastity belt. Then he summoned his loyal friend and subject, Sir Lancelot.
    "Lancelot, noble knight," said Arthur, "within this sturdy belt is imprisoned the virtue of my wife. The key to this chaste treasure I will entrust to only one man in the world. To you."
    Humbled before this great honor, Lancelot knelt, received his king's blessing and took charge of the key. Arthur mounted his steed and rode off. Not half a mile from his castle, he heard hoofbeats behind him and turned to see Sir Lancelot riding hard to catch up with him. "What is amiss, my friend?" asked the king.
    "My lord," gasped Lancelot, "you have given me the wrong key!"

    All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades.
    One knight told his best friend - "My bride is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world. It would be a terrible waste if no man could have her. Therefore, as my best and most trusted friend, I am leaving you the key to her chastity belt to use should I not return from the Crusade."
    The company of knights were only a mile or so out of town when they noticed a cloud of dust approaching.
    Thinking it might be an important message from the town the column halted.
    A horseman approached. It was the knight's best friend.
    He yells - "Hey, you gave me the wrong key!!"

    All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades.
    One knight told his best friend - "My bride is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world. It would be a terrible waste if no man could have her. Therefore, as my best and most trusted friend, I am leaving you the key to her chastity belt to use should I not return from the Crusade."
    The company of knights were only a mile or so out of town when they noticed a cloud of dust approaching.
    Thinking it might be an important message from the town the column halted.
    A horseman approached. It was the knight's best friend.
    He yelss - "Hey, you gave me the wrong key!!"

    All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades.One knight told his best friend - "My bride is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world. It would be a terrible waste if no man could have her. Therefore, as my best and most trusted friend, I am leaving you the key to her chastity belt to use should I not return from the Crusade."The company of knights were only a mile or so out of town when they noticed a cloud of dust approaching.Thinking it might be an important message from the town the column halted.A horseman approached. It was the knight's best friend.He yelss - "Hey, you gave me the wrong key!!"

  • Recent Activity