Kirstie Alley Jokes

Chocolate maker Nestle announced Monday that it will purchase weight loss product maker Jenny Craig Inc. for $600 million.

The large investment is an attempt to further Nestle’s health and wellness programs, as well as the latest chess move in a continuing effort by big business to ensure that Jenny Craig spokeswoman Kirstie Alley remains fat.

Millions of Americans simultaneously stricken with hysterical blindness.

A recent study released by the United Health Foundation concludes that, on average, Americans are 0.3% healthier than they were a year ago.
Kirstie Alley, your nation thanks you.

Turns out even less separates man from monkey. Research shows chimps know the difference between five chocolates and four. A pint and a quart. But, apparently, they couldn’t tell the difference between Kirstie Alley and a manatee.

Kirstie Alley will be rewarded with yet another reality show, for 2010.
She's almost there; she weighed in today at 2007 and 3/4.