Kindness Jokes

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    Be Kind

    Hot 3 years ago

    Bumper sticker: BE KIND TO ANIMALS. HUG A HOCKEY PLAYER.

    An old Irishman walks into a bar, hauls his bad leg over the stool, and asks for a whiskey. "Hey," he says, looking down the bar, "is that Jesus down there?" The bartender nods, so the Irishman orders Jesus one too.

    An ailing Italian with a humpback walks in, shuffles up to the bar, and asks for a glass of Chianti. Noticing Jesus, the Italian orders Him a glass of Chianti too.

    A redneck swaggers in and hollers, "Barkeep, set me up a cold one! Hey-is that God’s Boy down there?" The bartender nods, so the redneck orders Him a bottle of beer.

    As Jesus gets up to leave, He touches the Irishman and says, "For your kindness, you are healed!" The Irishman jumps up and dances a jig.

    Then Jesus touches the Italian and says, "For your kindness, you are healed!" The Italian’s humpback straightens, and he does a flip.

    Just then the redneck yells, "Don’t touch me! I’m drawing more...

    IN his introduction to Fabulous Oriental Recipes, Johna Blinn lists the following:' Happy Home Recipe'
    4 cups Love
    2 cups Loyalty
    5 quarts Faith
    2 tablespoons Tenderness 1 cup Kindness
    5 cups Understanding
    3 cups Forgiveness 1 cup Friendship
    5 teaspoons Hope
    1 barrel Laughter
    Take Love and Loyalty; mix thoroughly with Faith. Blend with Tenderness, Kindness, Understanding and Forgiveness. Add Friendship and Hope; Sprinkle abundantly with Laughter. Bake with Sunshine. Serve with generous helpings.

    An Irishman, with quite a pronounced limp, sits down at a bar and orders a whiskey. As he looks down at the end of the bar, he sees someone who resembles Jesus, so he asks the bartender, "Is that Jesus down there?" The bartender confirms that it is, so the Irishman tells him to give Jesus a whiskey, too.
    Next, a hunchbacked Italian enters the bar and orders a glass of wine. When he sees Jesus sitting down at the end of the bar, he asks the bartender to give a glass of wine to the son of God, too.
    Finally, a redneck swaggers in, dragging his knuckles on the floor, and hollers, "Barkeep, set me up a cold one. Hey, is that God's boy down there?" The bartender nods and the redneck tells him to give Jesus a cold one, too.
    As Jesus gets up to leave, he walks over to the Irishman, touches him, and says, "For your kindness, you are healed!" Feeling the strength return to his legs, the Irishman gets up and dances a jig out the door.
    Jesus then more...

    Civil War Era Humor The following are supposedly true definitions, stories, and terms relating to the Civil War. BIGGEST MAN... The biggest man in the Union Army was Capt. David Van Buskirk of the 27th Indiana Regiment who stood 6 feet 11 inches and weighed 380 pounds. He was captured in 1862 and was sent to a Richmond Prison where a Confederate entrepreneur put him on exhibit. Even Confederate President Jeff Davis came to see him and was astounded when the impish Van Buskirk claimed that back home in Bloomington Indiana, "when I was at the train station with my company, my six sisters came to say goodbye. As I was standing there, with my company, they all came up to me, leaned down and kissed me on top of the head." LETTER HOME... A young soldier left home to join the army. He told his girl friend that he would write every day. After about six months, he received a letter from his girlfriend that she was marrying someone else. He wrote home to his family to find out who she more...

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