Ketchup Jokes / Recent Jokes
Knock Knock Who’s there? Ketchup Ketchup who? Catch up with me and I’ll tell you!
Find two straws, preferably with wide tubes. Insert into your nostrils. Inhale your food.
Don't go to the dining hall. Live there and never leave. When people come in, harass for news of the outside world and tell them how the dining hall needs new ketchup.
Before eating, say grace. Punctuate by slamming your face into your food.
After obtaining your food, proceed to throw it out the nearest window. Turn to the person nearest to you and say, "Wow! Did you ever see [name of dish] fly like that before?"
Hide behind the milk dispenser. Moo every time someone gets milk.
Go up to the server and ask to see the chef. After he/she is introduced, request an off-the-menu meal consisting of lightly blackened escargot, a simmering seafood bisque, a delicately roasted rack of lamb in a basil cream sauce, and a tart but not sweet dessert of his/her own concoction. When he or she refuses, punch' em and proceed to make this meal yourself.
After finishing your more...
Knock Knock Who's there? Ketchup Ketchup who? Catch up with me and I'll tell you!
Cabbage, tap and tomato were having a race.
The cabbage was ahead, the tap was running after him, and the tomato tried to ketchup!
3 nuns went to a chips shop and the first nun asked can i have some chips with some sauce, the second nun asked the same as the first nun but asked for no ketchup all the nuns put the chips under there vagina and went home.
when they got home the third nun looked at hir chips and said "
hey i didnt ask for any ketchup and why is it all watery"
There are ways to make just about any situation fun, even going to your dorm shower...
1. Enter the stall. Shower for about 3 minutes, then scream really loudly, exclaiming, "I didn't know I had one of THOSE!"
2. Enter the stall, fully clothed. Do not undress and make sure your clothes get all wet and soapy. Complain when leaving the bathroom that your shirt tends to bleed.
3. Ask Scottie to beam you up.
4. Enter the stall, undress and then re-dress up as Superman. Leap out of the stall, vengefully vow to stop Lex Luther's evil plot, then run full force into the wall. Stand up, shake your head, and proceed to take your shower.
5. Bring a bottle of fake blood or ketchup into the shower with you. Exclaim "Ow! You know, it really hurts when you pop one of those." Then let the blood/ketchup seep down the drain for all to see.
6. Bring in a rubber chicken. Get it all soapy, then toss in into the next stall. Demand that the person in that more...