Kermit Jokes

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    Kermit the Frog gets sued

    Hot 3 months agoby
    Corrections Officer

    Kermit the Frog is getting sued by Miss Piggy for Sexual Harassment. She finally had enough of his greeting every time he called her on the phone: "Hi, Hoe - Kermit the Frog here..."

    A frog goes into a

    Hot 1 year ago

    A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Hello, Patricia Whack. I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation."
    Patti looks at this frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
    The frog says $30,000 and the teller asks him his name, and the frog says it's Kermit Jagger, he's the adopted pet of Mick Jagger and that it's ok, he knows the bank manager.
    Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything that he can use as collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
    Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and leaves the room. She finds the manager and says, "There is a frog called Kermit Jagger out more...

    Alexander and Kermit

    Hot 1 year ago

    What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? Their middle name.

    HORIZONS IN COMPUTER SCIENCE EDUCATIONAL TECHNOLOGY
    By Ross Williams 3 June 1988.
    Recent studies have shown that while undergraduate students are more intelligent
    than kindergarten students, the mentality and attention span of the two groups
    are similar. With this in mind, we introduce a new concept in Computer Science
    education:
    COMPUTER SCIENCE SESAME STREET
    Narrator:
    One of these programs is not like the others,
    One of these programs has a bug.
    One of these programs is not like the others,
    And if you can't tell which one, you're a mug.
    One of these programs is not like the others,
    One of these programs will really teach yer,
    One of these programs is not like the others,
    Yes, that's not a bug, that's a feature.
    ---
    Voiceover:
    c
    C
    C?
    C!
    printf!
    while ((c=getchar() != EOF) {}
    C!
    ---
    Song:
    Dum diddle diddle diddle dum de dum dum,
    Dum diddle diddle diddle,
    1, 2, 3, 4, 5, more...

    A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller, whose name is Patricia Whack.
    "Ms.Whack," he says, "I'd like to obtain a loan to buy a boat."
    Patti furrows her brow and asks, "Well, how much do you want to barrow?"
    "$30,000," the frog says.
    The teller writes this down, then asks his name.
    "My name is Kermit Jagger.I'm the son of Mick Jagger."
    "Really?" she asks, eyebrow raised.
    "Yes,"he says. Then he digs into his pants pocket and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant."And I want to use this as collateral."
    "Ummm, okay," Patti says, accepting the elephant."I'll have to ask the owner about this."
    "That's fine," he says. "He'll vouch for me."
    Patti walks into the bank owner's office and explains the situation."There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000 to buy a more...

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