Karen Jokes / Recent Jokes

Karen had lost her husband four years prior and was having trouble moving on. Her daughter repeatedly urged her to return back to the world. Finally, Karen agreed to go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter knew just the person for her.

They fell in love and after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend in the Catskills. Their first night there, she undressed as he did. There she stood nude except for a pair of black lacy panties. He was naked.

"Why the black panties?" he asked.

She replied, "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning."

He knew he wasn't getting lucky that night. The following night, same scenario. There she stood with the black panties on, only now he was wearing a black condom.

She looked at him and asked, "What's with the black condom?"

He replied "I want to offer my deepest more...

Tennis Elbow
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."

"Don't have to spend that kind of money, " Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars... a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be more...

A company boss has to decide who to lay someone off. He decides on two low level management employees Jack or Karen. He goes to Karen and says, "I will have to lay you or Jack off."

One night recently, my phone rang several times throughout the evening. Each time, a woman's voice asked for Ben. Each time I
politely explained that I lived alone, my name wasn't Ben, and she had a wrong number. The fifth time she called, I had had enough."Hello?" I said."Can I speak to Ben, please?"I replied, "I'm sorry, he's not in right now. Can I take a message?""Do you know what time he'll be back?" she responded."I think he said he'd be home around 10:00."Silence on the other end... a confused silence."Is this Steve?""Yes, it is. Do you want to leave a message for Ben?""Well... he said he would be home tonight and asked me to call him," she said in a slightly irritated voice.I replied, "Well, he went out with Karen about an hour ago and said that he would be back at 10:00."A shocked voice now: "Who's Karen?!""The girl he went out with.""I know that! I mean... more...

Karen: Have you noticed that Daddy is getting taller? Sharon: No, why? Karen: His head is sticking through his hair.

Gayle and Karen were comparing notes on the difficulties of running a small business.
"I started a new practice last year," Gayle said. "I insist that each of my employees take at least a week off every three months."
"Why in the world would you do that?" Karen asked.
Gayle answered, "It's the best way I know of to learn which ones I can do without."

Joe asks his wife, Karen, what she wants for their 40th wedding anniversary. "Would you like a new Mink coat?" he asks. "Not really," says Karen. "Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?" says Joe. "No," she responds. "What about a new vacation home in the country?" he suggests. She again rejects his offer with a "No thanks." "Well, what would you like for your anniversary?" Joe asks. "Joe, I`d like a divorce," answers Karen. "Sorry, I wasn`t planning to spend that much," says Joe.