Kangaroos Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Two kangaroos were living in a zoo pen with a 20-foot high fence.
    One morning, both kangaroos were found wandering around the zoo, and were quickly put back in their pen, and the fence was put up to 30 feet.
    Next morning, they were found outside again, so the fence was made 40 feet high.
    The fence got up to 60 feet, and still the kangaroos were outside in the morning.
    One kangaroo says to the other, "How high will they make this fence, do you think?"
    "Don't know," says the second. "Depends when they discover they're not locking the gate."
    An elephant walks into a pub and orders a drink. He's sipping his beer when a man starts playing the piano.
    The elephant looks over, and bursts into tears.
    "Why are you crying?" asks the barman. "Does the tune have some special significance for you?"
    "No," wails the elephant, "it's just that I recognise the keys!"
    (Ivory!)

    Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? Because then the children have to play inside.

    This is supposedly true story from a recent Defence Science Lectures Series, as related by the head of the Australian DSTO's Land Operations/Simulation division.

    They've been working on some really nifty virtual reality simulators, the case in point being to incorporate Armed Reconnaisance Helicopters into exercises (from the data fusion point of view). Most of the people they employ on this sort of thing are ex- (or future) computer game programmers.

    Anyway, as part of the reality parameters, they include things like trees and animals. For the Australian simulation they included kangaroos. In particular, they had to model kangaroo movements and reactions to helicopters (since hordes of disturbed kangaroos might well give away a helicopter's position).

    Being good little programmers, they just stole some code (which was originally used to model infantry detachments reactions under the same stimuli), and changed the mapped icon, the speed parameters, more...

    Here is a list of some really stupid laws I've seen:
    Alaska- You can't wake up a sleeping bear, just to take its picture.
    Florida-Unmarried women may not parachute on Sundays.
    Idaho- You can't fish from the back of a camel. (Who has a pet camel in Idaho anyway?!?)
    Oklahoma-Whaling is illegal. (hint-there aren't any oceans or whales in Oklahoma!)
    You also can't sleep on a refrigerator OUTDOORS, although it is perfectly legal to sleep on your refrigerator in public, as long as you are indoors.
    Baldwin Park, California- You can't (and why would you?) ride bicycles in swimming pools.
    Houston, Texas- You can't sell Limburger cheese on Sunday.
    Lexington, Kentucky- You can't carry an ice-cream cone in your pocket. (What are the police going to go around checking peoples pockets for ice-cream?)
    Marion, Ohio- You can't walk backwards on a city street while eating a donut.
    Myrtle Creek, Oregon- No boxing with kangaroos. (Wait, there are kangaroos in more...

    This is supposedly a true story from a recent Defence Science Lectures
    Series, as related by the head of the Australian DSTO's Land
    Operations/Simulation division.
    They've been working on some really nifty virtual reality simulators, the
    case in point being to incorporate Armed Reconnaissance Helicopters into
    exercises (from the data fusion point of view). Most of the people they
    employ on this sort of thing are ex- (or future) computer game programmers.
    Anyway, as part of the reality parameters, they include things like trees
    and animals. For the Australian simulation they included kangaroos. In
    particular, they had to model kangaroo movements and reactions to
    helicopters (since hordes of disturbed kangaroos might well give away a
    helicopter's position).
    Being good programmers, they just stole some code (which was originally used
    to model infantry detachments reactions under the same stimuli), and changed
    the mapped icon, the more...

  • Recent Activity