Journalist Jokes / Recent Jokes

Reporter: My editor sent me to do the burglary. Policeman: Youre too late - its already been done.

A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane."It will be waiting for you at the airport!" he was assured by his editor. As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, "Lets go! Lets go!" The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air."Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make three or four low level passes.""Why?" asked the pilot."Because Im going to take pictures! Im a photographer, and photographers take pictures!" said the photographer with great exasperation. After a long pause the pilot said, "You mean youre not the instructor?"

Back when Vietnam was still separated as North and South, the president of South Vietnam then was President Thieun As he was getting a lot of unfavorable treatment from his own country's news agencies, he invited Tara Singh, a journalist from Malaysia, to brief him about the setup of Bernama. After Tara Singh had briefed the president about Bernama, the president was impressed. He declared that it was time for him to set up his own Bernama, to counter all the criticism he has been receiving lately. Tara Singh politely said, "But Mr. President, the name' Bernama' is already used by Malaysia... maybe if you chose another name." "Of course, you're right! I shall name it after myself then. It will be known as Thieunama! ! ", said the president. Tara Singh nearly choked on that! " Ahh, Mr President, that may not be the best name. To the Cantonese speaking people, that name is a four-letter word concerning mothers," said Tara. The president was touched by the more...

Corruption is the favourite topic in the Central Hall of Parliament where reputations of the high and mighty are sold for the price of a subsidized masala dosa.
A recent corruption debate was summarized by a journalist to a friend in the following words:' What you give to the minister is a nazrana (offering); to an official a shukrana (thanksgiving); to the clerk a mehantana (work compensation) and to the chaprasi, baksheesh (tip).'
'But baksheesh does not rhyme with nazrana, shukrana and reduce mehantana,' the friend protested.
The journalist paused for a while, plucked a hair out of his sparse beard and replied:' In that case, call the chaprasi's share a shurooana (beginning) or card pahunchana, because he is the first to introduce you to the clerk, official and the minister.'

A weather forecaster took a job in another part of the country. When asked why he transferred he replied, "The weather didnt agree with me."

A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane.

"It will be waiting for you at the airport!" he was assured by his editor. As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, "Let's go! Let's go!" The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air.

"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make three or four low level passes."

"Why?" asked the pilot.

"Because I'm going to take pictures! I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!" said the photographer with great exasperation.

After a long pause the pilot said, "You mean you're not the instructor?"

A cub reporter covered a story about an attact on a woman by an escapee from a mental assylum. He returned with the story and a headline of "Woman raped, mental patient escapes".

The editor told him the headline needed a little punch to grab the reader's attention. After a while he came back with "Fiend Fucks and Flees".

The editor told him it was a family paper and they couldn't use a headline like that, go back and try again. Much later he came back with "Nut screws and bolts".