Jonah Jokes / Recent Jokes

Excerpts from Readers's Digest. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My 4 year old son came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. He stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then,' cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with more...

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
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A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, more...

The mean sunday school teacher was teaching the children about Jonah getting swalloed by a whale. Then one boy stood up and asked if Jonah was good after being swalloed. The teacher said, "
well I don't know."
"
well I think he went to heaven,"
said the boy. "
You can ask him when you go to heaven,"
said the teacher,"
but what if he went to hell?"
The boy stood back up and said,"
Then can you ask him?"

A lady on an airliner was reading her bible. The man sitting next to her gave a little chuckle and asked, "You don't really believe all that stuff in there do you?" "Of course I do. It is the Bible." the lady replies!"Well, what about that guy that was swallowed by that whale?" he asked." Oh, Jonah. .. Yes, I believe that, it is in the Bible." she replied." Well, how do you suppose he survived all that time inside the whale?" he asked." Well, I don't really know. I guess when I get to heaven, I will ask him." said the lady." What if he isn't in heaven?" the man asked sarcastically." Then YOU can ask him." replied the lady!

A lady on an airliner was reading her bible. The man sitting next to her gave a little chuckle and asked, "You don't really believe all that stuff in there do you?"

"Of course I do. It is the Bible." the lady replies!

"Well, what about that guy that was swallowed by that whale?" he asked.

"Oh, Jonah. .. Yes, I believe that, it is in the Bible." she replied.

"Well, how do you suppose he survived all that time inside the whale?" he asked.

"Well, I don't really know. I guess when I get to heaven, I will ask him." said the lady.

"What if he isn't in heaven?" the man asked sarcastically.

"Then YOU can ask him." replied the lady!

A woman was sitting next to a man. When he saw her pull out her Bible, he gave a little chuckle and went back to what he was doing. After awhile, he turned to her and asked, "You don't really believe all that stuff in there do you?"The lady replied, "Of course I do. It is the Bible."He said, "Well, what about that guy that was swallowed by that whale?"She replied, "Oh, Jonah. Yes, I believe that, it is in the Bible."He asked, "Well, how do you suppose he survived all that time inside the whale?"The lady said, "Well, I don't really know. I guess when I get to heaven, I will ask him.""What if he isn't in heaven?" the man asked sarcastically."Then you can ask him," replied the lady.

A little girl spoke to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it is a very large mammal, its throat is very small. The little girl said, "But how can that be? Jonah was swallowed by a whale." Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human. "It is physically impossible!" she said. Undaunted, the little girl said, "Well, when I get to heaven I will ask Jonah." To this, the teacher said, "What if Jonah went to hell?"