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    1,2...

    Hot 7 years ago

    A man was on a bridge as a news reporter walked by. She was told that if she didn't cover another story in 2 hours, she'd be fired. All of a sudden, the man starts to count "1,2,.."
    "Wait!" interrupts the reporter.
    "What is it?"
    "What are you trying to do?"
    "I'm going to commit suicide."
    "May I join you?"
    "Certainly."
    The two shout "1,2..."
    They're interrupted by a man walking down the street.
    "May I join you?" he asks.
    "Sure."
    "1,2..."
    As soon as the two men said 3, they jumped off, but the clever reporter stayed behind.
    "3,2,1, and cue!"
    "Good evening, I am just arriving at the scene of a crime. Two men just jumped off of this bridge."

    On a nice, bright sunshiney day, three couples came to visit the local Priest in order to join the Catholic Church. By a strange coincidence, One couple was young, one was old and one was middle-aged.
    The Priest told the couples that they could join the church only if they proved they were sincere by first abstaining from sex for one week. The couples all agreed to meet back at the church in one week.
    One week later, as promised, the couples all came back and the Priest asked of the Old Couple,
    "Did you abstain from sex?"
    The old couple both shook their heads and the Priest said, "Fine! Welcome to the Catholic Church!"
    The Priest then asked the middle-aged couple, "Did you abstain from sex?". The Middle Aged woman smiled and said, "It was tough, but we made it."
    "FINE! Welcome to the Catholic Church!"
    The priest then turned to the young couple and asked, "Did you abstain from sex?"
    The young more...

    Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, “Why do you want to join the Navy, son?”“My father said it'd be a good idea, sir.”“Oh? And what does your father do?”“He's in the Army, sir.”

    You send weekly love letters to the actress who played the Green Skinned Orion Slave Girl in episode number 7.
    You pull the legs off your hamster so you'll have a tribble.
    You tried to join the Navy just so you could serve aboard the Enterprise.
    Your wife left you because you wanted her to dress like a Klingon and torture you for information.
    You went to San Francisco to see if you might bump into Kirk and crew while they were in the 20th Century looking for a whale.
    Your college thesis was a Comparison of the Illustrious Careers of T.J. Hooker and Captain Kirk.
    You fly into a homicidal rage anytime people say "Star Trek? Isn't that the one with Luke Skywalker?"
    You have no life.
    You recognize more than 4 references on this list.
    and number one sign you've watched too much Star Trek
    You join NASA, hijack a shuttle, and head for the coordinates you calculated for the planet Vulcan.

    PrezBubba{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Boris}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
    DRUNKBORIS:{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Bill}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
    PrezBubbaWhat's up?
    DRUNKBORIS:nmh
    DRUNKBORIS:How's the knee?
    PrezBubbaThey may have to amputate
    PrezBubba

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