Joey Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    At the Henry Street Hebrew School, Mr. Goldblatt, the new teacher, finished the day's lesson. It was now time for the usual question period.
    "Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Joey, "there's somethin' I can't figure out."
    "What's that Joey?" asked Mr. Goldblatt.
    "Well accordin' to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?"
    "Right."
    "An' the Children of Israel beat up the Phillistines, right?"
    "Er - right."
    "An' the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?"
    "Again you're right."
    "An' the Children of Israel fought the 'gyptians, an' the Children of Israel fought the Romans, an' the Children of Israel wuz always doin' somethin' important, right?"
    "All that is right, too," agreed Mr. Goldblatt. "So what's your question?"
    "What I wanna know is this," asked Joey, "What wuz the grown-ups doin' more...

    A neighbor peered over his fence and noticed that little Joey was in his backyard filling in a hole. Curious about what the youngster was up to, the neighbor asked, "What are you doing, Joey?"
    Tearfully, little Joey replied, "My goldfish died and I've just buried him."
    "That's an awfully large hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" the concerned neighbor asked.
    Patting down the last bit of earth, little Joey replied, "That's because he's in your cat!"

    Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge, and all the people walked across safely. He used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters and call in an air strike. They sent in bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved."

    "Now, Joey, is that REALLY what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked.

    "Well, no, Mom, but if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"

    At the Henry Street Hebrew School, Goldblatt, the new teacher, finished the day's lesson. It was now time for the usual question period.
    "Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Joey, "there's something I can't figure out."
    "What's that Joey?" asked Goldblatt.
    "Well accordin' to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?"
    "Right."
    "An' the Children of Israel beat up the Philistines, right?"
    "Er-right."
    "An' the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?"
    "Again you're right."
    "An' the Children of Israel fought the 'gyptians, an' the Children of Israel fought the Romans, an' the Children of Israel wuz always doin' somethin' important, right?"
    "All that is right, too," agreed Goldblatt. "So what's your question?"
    "What I wanna know is this," demanded Joey. "What wuz all the grown-ups doin"?

    Miss Smith is a kindergarten teacher and today is her birthday. As she walked into her classroom one of her students, Sally, had brought a gift up to her desk.

    "Guess what it is!" said Sally.

    Knowing that Sally's father owned a bookstore she guessed, "A Book?".

    "How did you know?" asked Sally.

    Next Dillon brought a gift up to Miss Smith. "Guess what it is!" said Dillon.

    Knowing that Dillon's parents owned a florist shop, she guessed, "Flowers?".

    "How did you know?" asked Dillon.

    Finally, Joey brought up a gift for Miss Smith.

    "Guess what it is!" said Joey.

    Knowing that Joey's father owned a liquor store, and seeing that the bag was wet, she placed her fingers on the liquid and then licked them. "Rum?" guessed Miss Smith.

    "No" said Joey.

    She tasted again..."Vodka?" she more...

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