your mommas so fat when she went to jenny craigs the only thing stopping her was the front door
A guy walks into a store and says to the managaer "why doesn't your store have a name", the store manager says "I haven't thought of one yet but I think u can help me, what's your girlfriend's name." The guy says "Jenny" then the store owner says "What's do you like most about Jenny" and the guysays "her legs." So the store manager says "ok that's what we'll call my store Jenny's Legs. Here's a coupon come back tomorrow morning and you can have a free drink." And the man says "ok."The next day the man comes back to the store banging on the window yelling " where's my free drink, where's my free drink!" Then a police officer comesup to him and says "What are you doing?" and the guy says "I'm waiting for Jenny's Legs to open up."
In dieting news, Monica Lewinsky is the new spokes-model for the Jenny Craig dieting system. Pictures are being shown of a pre- and post-Jenny Craig Monica.
A second round of advertising will be showing her dress, before and after the dry-cleaning. I don't know what the ad slogan is going to be for this particular campaign, but I suspect that it will not be as tasteless as it should be.
Monica's Jenny Craig diet tip #1: Taste, but don't swallow.
Tip#2: If you can't remember the name of the President, don't worry as it is on the tip of your tongue.
Tip#3: As you go down, so will your weight.
Tip#4: There are other choices, the only thing you shouldn't blow is your diet.
And finally tip#5: Don't be a sucker for other diet plans, go to Jenny Craig.
I guess it is the lure of money that brought Monica to Jenny Craig... She is already known for keeping up with the Johnsons, so it is time to keep up with the Jones.
(c)2000 The Reverend Shayne Dark
Jennymen prefer blondes!
Little four-year-old Jenny was looking at her new baby brother for the first time. He was fast asleep.
After staring at her tiny, motionless baby brother for a few minutes, Jenny looked up at her mother and asked plaintively, "Didn't he come with batteries?"