Jatt Jokes / Recent Jokes

A minister has just died and is standing on line waiting to be judged and admitted to Heaven. While waiting he asks the man in front of him about himself. "I'm a Jatt taxi driver from Neyw Yaark Seety."
Suddenly the angel standing at the gate calls out next, and the taxi driver steps up. The angel hands him a golden staff and a cornucopia of fruits, cheeses and wine and lets him pass. The taxi driver is quite pleased, and proceeds through the gates.
Next, the minister steps up to the angel and the angel hands him a wooden staff and some bread and water. The minister is very concerned and asks the angel, "That guy is a taxi driver and gets a golden staff and a cornucopia! I spend my entire life as a minister and get nothing! How can that be?"
The angel replies, "Up here we judge on results, all of your people sleep through your sermons, in his taxi, they pray."

A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a jatt standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the jatt is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.

The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the jatt and asks him, "Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?"

The jatt replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."

"How?" asks the man, puzzled.

"Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field."

The Queen of England and a Jatt were celebrating a public holiday in England one day, in front of a massive audience, when the Queen turned to the jatt and said, "You know, I can make all of the British in the crowd cheer and go wild by just waving my hand." The jatt looked at the Queen and asked for a demonstration.

The Queen waved her hand at the people, and all of the Brits went crazy - cheering, shouting, and giving a standing ovation for her.
The jatt nodded, and said to the Queen, "Well, I can make all of the punjabis in this crowd start cheering by just waving my hand as well."

The Queen raised an eyebrow. "Alright," she said. "Prove it."

The jatt said ok and slapped the Queen.

A Jatt is travelling in a DTC bus in Delhi. It's a busy day and our Jatt is roughing it out, standing up in the aisle and all. In his
right hand is his briefcase (which appears to contain some valuables), with his left he is grabbing on to the railing for dear life.
The conductor approaches him for a ticket. The Jatt who doesn't have a free hand to pull out his wallet gives the conductor a helpless look. The conductor reaches out for the jatt's briefcase in an effort to help him out.
"nahin! tum upar pakdo" says the Jatt clutching onto his briefcase

There's a jatt driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says,' 'sardar ji, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!''
Jatt says,' 'I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!''

One Sunday a jatt went to church. When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present. The preacher asked the jatt if he wanted him to go ahead and preach. The jatt said, "I'm not too smart, but if I went to feed my jatt and only one showed up, I'd feed him." So the minister began his sermon.
One hour passed, then two hours, then two-and-a-half hours. The preacher finally finished and came down to ask the jatt how he had liked the sermon. The jatt answered slowly, "Well, I'm not very smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I sure wouldn't feed him all the hay."

A jatt wanted Rs. 10, 000 badly and prayed for two weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the Rs 10, 000.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, India, they decided to send it to Prime Minister.
The Prime Minister was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the jatt a Rs 500 bill. Prime Minister thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a jatt.
The jatt was delighted with the Rs 500 and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord, which read:
Dear Lord,
Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, Inoticed that for some reason you had to send it through New Delhi and, as usual, those jerks deducted Rs. 9500...