Jane Jokes / Recent Jokes
Jane met Tarzan in the jungle and found she was very attracted to him. While asking him questions about his life, she asked how he managed for sex.
"What's sex?" asked a confused Tarzan.
She explained to him what sex was and he replied, "Tarzan use hole in tree trunk."
Horrified, Jane said, "No, Tarzan, you have it all wrong. I'll show you how to do it the proper way." She then removed all her clothes, laid on the ground and spread her legs.
Pointing to her privates, she said, "Here, Tarzan. You must put it here."
Tarzan removed his loincloth, moved closer to her and gave her a tremendous kick in the crotch.
Jane rolled around in agony and gasped, "What the hell was that for?"
"Tarzan always check for bees!" he replied.
One day Rastus and Liza Jane were sitting at the bus stop when Rastus ups and asks, "Liza Jane can I's look up your dress before the bus gets here?"
Liza Jane was startled and said, "No Rastus you cain't!"
Well Rastus persisted and persisted till finally Liza Jane said, "Alright if'n it will shut you up you can."
So Rastus looks up her dress and sees that see has no panties on to which he exclaims, "Sho is a wonder!"
Well the bus shows up and they gets on.
Next day, Rastus and Liza Jane are sitting there again when Rastus ups and asks her, "Liza Jane, can I look up your dress again?" Well Liza Jane at first refused, but as the day before she then gave in. So Rastus looks up there and seeing no panties he exclaims, again, "Sho is a wonder!"
Well this goes on for a few days when on the last day that Liza Jane would permit Rastus to look up her dress she tells him, "Rastus you can look up my dress more...
Tarzan had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 30 years with only apes for company, and suitably shaped holes in trees for sex. Jane, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary figure.
Deep in the wilds she came to a clearing and discovered Tarzan vigorously thrusting into a jungle oak. She watched in awe for a while.
Finally, overcome by this display of animal passion Jane came out into the open and offered herself to him. As she reclined on the wild grass Tarzan ran up to her and gave her a big kick in the crotch.
In pain she screamed' What the hell did you do that for?'
Tarzan replied,' Always check for squirrels.'
1. What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants in the distance?
"Look, a herd of elephants in the distance"
2. What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses
in the distance?
Nothing. He doesn't recognize them.
3. What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of giraffes in the distance?
"Haha! You fooled me once with those disguises, but not this time!"
4. What is the difference between en elephant and a plum?
An elephant is grey.
5. What does Jane say when she sees a herd of elephants in the distance?
"Look! A herd of plums in the distance" (Jane is colorblind)
6. How do you get four elephants into a Mini?
Two in the front, two in the back.
7. What game do four elephants in a mini play?
8. How do you get an elephant into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Insert elephant.
3. Close door.
How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?
1. Open more...
A new primary school teacher, starting her first day of class, began by asking her students to stand up and introduce themselves.
The first child stood up and said, "My name is Jane Lawrence." "Hello, Jane," the teacher said.
The second student stood and said, "My name is Jason Wright." Hello, Jason," said the teacher.
The third student stood and said, "My name is Johnny Fuckhour."
Horrified, the teacher told Johnny that she would not tolerate that type of language. "Really, teacher, my name is Johnny Fuckhour," Johnny explained. "If you don't believe me, check up in the fourth grade where my brother is."
The teacher went up to the fourth grade and asked, "Do you have a Fuckhour in here."
A boy at the back of the class stood up and said, "Are you kidding? Hell, we don't even get a nap hour."
After working together for a while, Dick and Jane's office romance blossomed, and they really developed the 'hots' for each other. One day, they seize the opportunity to sneak into a supply closet to consummate their lust.
Dick finds Jane very 'tight', and difficult to 'enter', but finally succeeds.
When they are finished, Dick says to her, "If I had known you were a virgin, I would have taken more time!"
To which Jane replies "If I'd have known you had more time, I would have taken off my pantyhose!"
After working together for a while, Dick and Jane's office romance blossomed, and they really developed the hots for each other. One day, they seize the opportunity to sneak into a supply closet to consummate their lust. Dick finds Jane very tight, and difficult to enter, but finally succeeds. When they are finished, Dick says to her, "If I had known you were a virgin, I would have taken more time!" To which Jane replies "If I'd known you had more time, I would have taken off my pantyhose!"