A guy is driving along the freeway in Los Angeles, and as he reaches downtown, he finds himself in the middle of a massive traffic jam that is blocking up five different freeways and sending lines of cars back for miles in all directions.
After a while, he notices a guy walking from car to car down the freeway, stopping and talking to people through their car windows.
When the guy reaches him he rolls down his window and says,' 'Hey! What's causing all this delay?''
The guy on the freeway says,' 'Well, you're not going to believe this, but OJ Simpson has sat down in the middle of the freeway intersection up there, and he's totally distraught, and he says there's no way he can ever pay the $35 million he owes the Goldman's and the Browns, and so he's threatened to douse himself in gasoline and light himself on fire if people don't give enough money... sufficient to cover the cost of the judgment. So I've taken up a collection to try to end the traffic more...
A Syrian guy walked into a cafe. He sees a Lebanese guy eating croissants and jam.
Syrian Guy: "Do Lebanese people eat the insides of the croissants?"
Lebanese Guy: "Of course. Why? What's wrong with that?"
Syrian Guy: "Well for your information, the insides of the croissants are firstly recycled by the Syrians then sold to the Lebanese. Now as for the jam - do you guys eat jam?"
Lebanese Guy: "Of course. Why?"
Syrian Guy: "Well, you know the fruits are firstly peeled, eaten then the peels would be then recycled and then sold to the Lebanese."
Lebanese Guy: "Do Syrians have sex?"
Syrian Guy: "Yes, of course."
Lebanese Guy: "Do you use condoms?"
Syrian Guy: "Of course. Why?"
Lebanese Guy: "Well.. when the Lebanese use condoms they recycle them and sell them to the Syrians."
When a video jammed in his VCR, Jessop Smith went to a Wilton Manors electronics store for help. When fixing his VCR, the workers there saw what was in the jammed tape and reported it to the police.
Police brought in a pediatrician who "certified the female children in the video to be under 18 years of age".
Next day cops posing as store clerks greeted Jessop and followed him to his home at 1232 NE 26th St., where a child porno was playing on a big screen TV.
Now Mr. Smith is in jam instead of his VCR.
Asian guy is having his "SNACK" ( bread and jam) when an American man chuckling chewing gum, sits down next to him. The Asian ignores the American who, nevertheless, starts a conversation. American: "You Asian folks eat the whole bread??" Asian (in a bad mood): "Of course." American: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In the States, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them
into croissants and export them to Asia." The American has a smirk on his face. The Asia listens in silence. The American persists: "D'ya eat jelly with the bread??" Asian: "Of Course." American: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling). "We don't. In the States we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and export them to Asia. " The Asian ( pissed of) then asks: "Do you have sex more...
A guy was stuck in a traffic jam that hadn't moved for more than half an hour. Looking out his car window he saw a kid on a skateboard weaving his way towards him through the line of stranded vehicles. "Hey son, what's the hold up?" the guy asked. "It's some crazy lawyer," replied the kid, "He's lying in the middle of the road and he's doused himself with petrol and is threatening to set fire to himself. We're taking up a collection for him. Would you like to donate mister?" "How much have you got so far?" the guy enquired. "Oh," said the kid, "about thirty boxes of matches and twenty-three lighters."