Issue Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Definitions of A Diplomat:
    Always knows what to talk about, but doesn't always talk about what he knows. Always tries to settle problems created by other diplomats. Can always make himself misunderstood. Can bring home the bacon without spilling the beans. Can convince his wife not to hide her nice body under a floor-length sable. Can convince his wife to show off her new coat in a bus rather than in a taxi. Can juggle a hot potato long enough for it to become a cold issue. Can keep his shirt on while getting something off his chest. Can look happy when he has unexpected dinner guests. Can make his wife believe she will look fat in a mink coat. Can make nothing sound like something. Can put his best foot forward when he doesn't have a leg to stand on. Can put his foot down without stepping on someone's toes. Can say the nastiest things in the nicest way. Can tell a man he's open-minded when he means he has a hole in his head. Can tell you to go to hell so tactfully that you look more...

    Any issue worth debating is worth avoiding altogether.

    Definitions of A Diplomat:
    Always knows what to talk about, but doesn't always talk about what he knows.
    Always tries to settle problems created by other diplomats.
    Can always make himself misunderstood.
    Can bring home the bacon without spilling the beans.
    Can convince his wife not to hide her nice body under a floor-length sable.
    Can convince his wife to show off her new coat in a bus rather than in a taxi.
    Can juggle a hot potato long enough for it to become a cold issue.
    Can keep his shirt on while getting something off his chest.
    Can look happy when he has unexpected dinner guests.
    Can make his wife believe she will look fat in a mink coat.
    Can make nothing sound like something.
    Can put his best foot forward when he doesn't have a leg to stand on.
    Can put his foot down without stepping on someone's toes.
    Can say the nastiest things in the nicest way.
    Can tell a man he's open-minded when he means he has a hole in his more...

    Definitions of A Diplomat:Always knows what to talk about, but doesn't always talk about what he knows.Always tries to settle problems created by other diplomats.Can always make himself misunderstood.Can bring home the bacon without spilling the beans.Can convince his wife not to hide her nice body under a floor-length sable.Can convince his wife to show off her new coat in a bus rather than in a taxi.Can juggle a hot potato long enough for it to become a cold issue.Can keep his shirt on while getting something off his chest.Can look happy when he has unexpected dinner guests.Can make his wife believe she will look fat in a mink coat.Can make nothing sound like something.Can put his best foot forward when he doesn't have a leg to stand on.Can put his foot down without stepping on someone's toes.Can say the nastiest things in the nicest way.Can tell a man he's open-minded when he means he has a hole in his head.Can tell you to go to hell so tactfully that you look forward to the more...

    John Kerry went duck hunting and he's doing that to fulfill his campaign pledge to hunt down the ducks and kill them wherever they are! Kerry did pretty well; he came back with four ducks and three Purple Hearts." -David Letterman
    "John Kerry went hunting today. He said he killed a goose. He didn't bring Teresa along because he was a little rusty and he was afraid he might kill the goose that laid the golden egg." -Jay Leno
    "Last week, Senator Kerry was eight points behind President Bush, today he is three points ahead. Is this the kind of indecision we want in a president?" -Announcer in a mock Bush-Cheney ad, "Late Show With David Letterman"
    "Kerry scored many points with voters and pundits by finally putting to rest criticism that he's a flip-flopper. Kerry said, 'I have one position on Iraq: I'm forgainst it." -Amy Pohler, Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"
    "John Kerry says the 'W' in George W. Bush more...

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