Internal Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    In a move IBM offices are hailing as a major step in the company's ongoing worldwide telecommunications revolution, M'wana Ndeti, a member of Zaire's Bantu tribe, used an IBM global uplink network modem yesterday to crush a nut.
    Ndeti, who spent twenty minutes trying to open the nut by hand, easily cracked it open by smashing it repeatedly with the powerful modem.
    "I could not crush the nut by myself," said the forty-seven-year-old Ndeti, who added the savory nut to a thick, peanut-based soup minutes later. "With IBM's help, I was able to break it."
    Ndeti discovered the nut-breaking, 28.8 V.34 modem yesterday, when IBM was shooting a commercial in his southwestern Zaire village. During a break in shooting, which shows African villagers eagerly teleconferencing via computer with Japanese schoolchildren, Ndeti snuck onto the set and took the modem, which he believed would serve well as a "smashing" utensil.
    IBM officials were not surprised more...

    An internal auditor for a manufacturing group was concerned about anomalies in stock levels. He thought someone might be pinching stock but he couldnt prove it. He had his eye on one shifty-looking individual who every day drove his old truck out of the factory with the load covered by a tarpaulin. Time after time the auditor stopped the bloke, made him remove the tarpaulin and then inspected the load. On every occasion there was only scrap metal in the truck which the driver said he was taking to the tip. On three occasions the auditor made the bloke remove the tarpaulin and then unload the scrap in front of him, suspecting that there might be stolen stock hidden underneath. Nothing. He could never find anything amiss. After a few months of this the auditor was offered a better job elsewhere and resigned. A few weeks later he was drinking in a pub when the shifty character walked in. On a n impulse the auditor went up to him and said, "Look, Ive left the company, Im not more...

    "Government should be run like a business." We've all
    heard that chestnut. Here is how the Internal Revenue
    Service (nobody's favorite government agency) would be
    like, if only it were run like Microsoft Corp. (a
    successful private enterprise).
    The IRS, as always, announces new tax forms will be
    mailed the week before the new year. However it will
    follow Microsoft's example and actually ship them the
    following May.
    Responding to pressure from some large corporations and
    a users' group, some early copies of the tax forms will
    actually be released in March. The recipients must
    sign non-disclosure agreements.
    In June, the forms will be recalled because the IRS
    loses a suit for appropriating some other country's
    intellectual property.
    When you move, the IRS will continue to send mail to
    your previous address forevermore, just like Microsoft
    sends its product upgrade notices.
    When you upgrade from form more...

    "Government should be run like a business." We've all heard that chestnut. Here is how the Internal Revenue Service (nobody's favorite government agency) would be like, if only it were run like Microsoft Corp. (a successful private enterprise).
    The IRS, as always, announces new tax forms will be mailed the week before the new year. However it will follow Microsoft's example and actually ship them the following May.
    Responding to pressure from some large corporations and a users' group, some early copies of the tax forms will actually be released in March. The recipients must sign non-disclosure agreements.
    In June, the forms will be recalled because the IRS loses a suit for appropriating some other country's intellectual property.
    When you move, the IRS will continue to send mail to your previous address forevermore, just like Microsoft sends its product upgrade notices.
    When you upgrade from form 1040 EZ to 1040 A, and then to 1040, you will pay an more...

    "Government should be run like a business." We've all
    heard that chestnut. Here is how the Internal Revenue
    Service would be like, if only it were run like Microsoft.
    The IRS, as always, announces new tax forms will be
    mailed the week before the new year. However it will
    follow Microsoft's example and actually ship them the
    following May.
    Responding to pressure from some large corporations and
    a users' group, some early copies of the tax forms will
    actually be released in March. The recipients must
    sign non-disclosure agreements.
    In June, the forms will be recalled because the IRS
    loses a suit for appropriating some other country's
    intellectual property.
    When you move, the IRS will continue to send mail to
    your previous address forevermore, just like Microsoft
    sends its product upgrade notices.
    When you upgrade from form 1040 EZ to 1040 A, and then
    to 1040, you will pay an upgrade fee each time. more...

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