Intention Jokes / Recent Jokes

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? -

Well, it's the same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving

Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

What’s the difference between a man and a lawnmower?
Lawnmowers don’t bitch after they cut the yard.

What’s a man’s idea of a romantic evening?
A candlelit football stadium.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

How can you tell good mushrooms from bad ones?
Serve them to your mother-in-law. If she drops dead, they’re good!

Did you hear about the man who got caught masturbating while on board a commercial airliner?
He was arrested for skyjacking!

How are men like vacations?
They never seem to be long enough!

How do you scare a man?
Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.

What food describes most men?
Jerky.

Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very moment for their call. Who are these women?
Women working at 900 more...

Q. How do you Scare a Man? A. Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice. Q. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? A. The same urge that makes dogs chase cars that they have no intention of driving. Q. What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift to women? A. Exchange him. Q. What's a man's idea of a perfect date? A. A woman who answers the door stark naked holding a six pack. Q. Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? A. To stop the snoring before it starts. Q. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A. After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. Q. How do you get a man to exercise? A. Tie the TV remote control to his shoelaces. Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? A. We don't know. It's never happened. Q. Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years? A. Because, even back then men wouldn't stop to ask for directions. Q. What is a man's idea of safe sex? A. A padded headboard. more...

How does a man take a bubble bath? He eats beans for dinner. Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up? Because they don't have testicles. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes. Why don't men eat more M&M's? They're too hard to peel. What do you call a man with an IQ of 50? Gifted. What's a man's idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging. How can you tell if a man is sexually excited? He's breathing. What do men and bottles of beer have in common? They're both empty from the neck up. How can you tell if a man is happy? Who cares!!!! What is the thinnest book in the world? What Men Know About WomenHow many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Men will screw anything! How do you save a man from drowning? Take your foot off his head. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? We don't know - it's never happened. Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces? Because they're stupid. How are men and parking spots more...

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetie for Valentine's Day.As they had not been dating very long, it was a very difficult decision.After careful consideration he decided a good gift would be a pair of gloves.Accompanied by his sister, he went to the store and bought the gloves. His sister purchased a pair of panties at the same time.The clerk carefully wrapped both items but in the process got them mixed up.The sister was handed the gloves and the young man got the panties.The young man mailed his Valentine's Day gift with the following note:"This special Valentines Day gift was chosen because I noticed you are in the habit of not wearing any when we go out in the evenings. If it had not been for my sister, I would have chosen the ones with buttons, but she prefers short ones that are much easier to remove."These are a lovely shade, the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I more...