Intention Jokes / Recent Jokes

How does a man take a bubble bath? He eats beans for dinner.Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up? Because they don't have testicles.Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes.Why don't men eat more M&M's? They're too hard to peel.What do you call a man with an IQ of 50? Gifted.What's a man's idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging.How can you tell if a man is sexually excited? He's breathing.What do men and bottles of beer have in common? They're both empty from the neck up.How can you tell if a man is happy? Who cares!!! What is the thinnest book in the world? What Men Know About WomenHow many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Men will screw anything! How do you save a man from drowning? Take your foot off his head.How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? We don't know - it's never happened.Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces? Because they're stupid.How are men and parking spots alike? The good more...

Q. How do you Scare a Man?
A. Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.
Q. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A. The same urge that makes dogs chase cars that they have no intention of driving.
Q. What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift to women?
A. Exchange him.
Q. What's a man's idea of a perfect date?
A. A woman who answers the door stark naked holding a six pack.
Q. Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A. To stop the snoring before it starts.
Q. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A. After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
Q. How do you get a man to exercise?
A. Tie the TV remote control to his shoelaces.
Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. We don't know. It's never happened.
Q. Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?
A. Because, even back then men wouldn't stop to ask for more...

Q. How do you Scare a Man? A. Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.Q. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? A. The same urge that makes dogs chase cars that they have no intention of driving.Q. What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift to women? A. Exchange him.Q. What's a man's idea of a perfect date? A. A woman who answers the door stark naked holding a six pack.Q. Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? A. To stop the snoring before it starts.Q. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A. After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.Q. How do you get a man to exercise? A. Tie the TV remote control to his shoelaces.Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? A. We don't know. It's never happened.Q. Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years? A. Because, even back then men wouldn't stop to ask for directions.Q. What is a man's idea of safe sex? A. A padded headboard.Q. Men are more...

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

What's the best form of birth control after 50? Nudity What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 lbs. What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? 45 minutes. What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife. Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good looking? Because those men already have boyfriends. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. Why does the bride always wear white? Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator. How do you know when you're really ugly? Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed. How do you know when you're leading a more...

As we all prepare to start a new year, it is time again to make those ever so important New Year's Resolutions. Here is my list of recent years' resolutions and the revised ones for 2006.
Resolution #1
2003: I will try to be a better husband to Lisa.
2004: I will not leave Lisa.
2005: I will try for reconciliation with Lisa.
2006: I will try to be a better husband to Rachel.
Resolution #2
2003: I will stop looking at other women.
2004: I will not get involved with Rachel.
2005: I will not let Rachel pressure me into another marriage.
2006: I will stop looking at other women.
Resolution #3
2003: I will not let my boss push me around.
2004: I will not let my sadistic boss drive me to the point of suicide.
2005: I will stick up for my rights when my boss bullies me.
2006: I will tell Dr. Hodger and the group about my boss.
Resolution #4
2003: I will read at least 20 good books a year.
2004: I will read at least 10 more...