Intensity Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    From: Management
    To: All Employees
    Subject: Special High Intensity Training
    In order to assure the highest levels of quality in the work and productivity
    from our employees, it will now be our policy to regularly train everyone
    through our longstanding program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.).
    We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than other offices. If you
    feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your
    supervisor. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list.
    As you know, our supervisors are especially skilled at seeing that you get all
    the S.H.I.T. you can handle. Employees who don't take S.H.I.T. will be placed in
    the DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who
    fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to attend the supplemantal
    program, EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since your supervisors
    took more...

    S.H.I.T (Special High)

    Hot 3 years ago

    Special High Intensity Training - S.H.I.T.
    MEMORANDUM
    TO: All Employees
    FROM: Communications Services
    SUBJECT: SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
    In order to assure that we continue to produce the highest quality work possible, it will be our policy to keep all employees well-trained though our Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.). We are giving our employees more S.H.I.T. than any other office in town.
    If you feel you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your supervisor. You will be placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list for special attention.
    All of our supervisors are particularly qualified to see that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle at your own speed.
    If you think that you have a thorough understanding of the basic S.H.I.T. program, you may wish to participate in Management Of Related Education (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.).
    If you consider yourself to be trained enough already, you may be interested in helping us train more...

    JOKES | MORE

    Hot 2 years ago

    Subject: Additional Training

    It is now and always has been the policy of this Company to assure its
    employees that they are well trained. Through our Special High Intensity
    Training program (SHIT), we have given our employees more SHIT than any
    other company in the area.

    If any employee feels that he or she could advance to another position by
    taking more SHIT, see your supervisor.

    Our management people are specially trained to assure that you will get all
    the SHIT you can handle.

    Any individual who feels he or she has not received sufficient Special High
    Intensity Training, tell your supervisor, she he can put you at the top of
    the SHIT list.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    What do you call a truck load of vibrators?
    - Toys for twats.

    What is red and has seven dents?
    - Snow White's cherry

    How can you tell Dolly Parton's more...

    BURNOUT PREVENTION AND RECOVERY
    1. STOP DENYING. Listen to the wisdom of your body. Begin to freely admit
    the stresses and pressures which have manifested physically, mentally, or
    emotionally.
    MICROSOFT VIEW: Work until the physical pain forces you into
    unconsciousness.
    2. AVOID ISOLATION. Don't do everything alone! Develop or renew intimacies
    with friends and loved ones. Closeness not only brings new insights, but
    also is anathema to agitation and depression.
    MICROSOFT VIEW: Shut your office door and lock it from the inside
    so no-one will distract you. They're just trying to hurt your
    productivity.
    3. CHANGE YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES. If your job, your relationships, a situation,
    or a person is dragging you under, try to alter your circumstances, or if
    necessary, leave.
    MICROSOFT VIEW: If you feel something is dragging you down, supress
    these thoughts. This is a weakness. Drink more coffee. ( It's free.)
    4. DIMINISH more...

    In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from students, it will be our policy to keep all students well taught through ourprogram of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (S.H.I.T.).
    We are trying to giveour students more S.H.I.T. than any other school. If you feel that you donot receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the course, please see your lecturer.
    You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and ourlecturers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. youcan handle.
    Students who don't know S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EDUCATIONALEVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.). Since our lecturers took S.H.I.T. before they graduated, theydon't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, as they are all full of S.H.I.T. already.
    If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job teaching more...

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