Injured Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took the desk stapler and stapled the tie to his chest. Discipline was not a problem from that day forth!

    A cub reporter for a small town newspaper was sent out on his first assignment one day. He submitted the following report to his editor.
    "Mrs. Smith was injured in a one-car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her breasts."
    The Editor scolded the new reporter, saying. "This is a family paper. We don't use words like breasts around here. Now go back and write something more appropiate!"
    The young reporter thought long and hard. Finally he handed the Editor the following report. "Mrs. Smith was injured in a one-car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her ( . )( . )"

    A young reporter was sent on his first assignment.
    He sent in the following report to the office -
    "Mrs. Smith was injured in a car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with cuts on her breasts."
    The editor scolded the new reporter, "This is a family paper. we don't use words like 'breasts' around here. Go back and write something more appropriate!"
    The young reporter thought for a few minutes, and finally sent in this report -
    "Mrs. Smith was injured in a car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with cuts on her ( . ) ( . )."

    An Amish man named Samuel was injured when he and his horse were struck by a car at an intersection. Samuel sued the driver of the car. In court, he was cross-examined by the driver's lawyer:
    Lawyer: Samuel, you've told us all about your injuries. However, according to the accident report, you told the investigating officer at the scene that you weren't injured at all, isn't that true?"
    Samuel: Well... let me explain.
    Lawyer: Go right ahead (thinking he now had the plaintiff on the ropes). Please tell the jury.
    Samuel: When the officer arrived at the scene, he first looked upon my fallen horse. Finding him injured, the officer said to me, 'Looks like he has a broken leg,' and then he took out his weapon and shot my horse dead. Then the officer came up me and asked me how I was doing.
    Of course, I immediately replied, 'I'm OK!'

    From "News of the Weird by Chuck Shepherd..."
    Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover Township, N.J., in September and his wife, Bonnie, was also injured by a quarter-stick of dynamite that blew up their car.
    While driving around at 2 a.m., the bored couple lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but they apparently failed to notice that the window was CLOSED!

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