Informed Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day a young man went to a pharmacy and asked the little old lady behind the counter if he could speak with the pharmacist.
"I am the pharmacist," she informed him.
"Oh, in that case forget it," he replied and started to leave.
"Young man," the lady said to him, "My sister and I have been
pharmacists for forty years and there is nothing we haven't heard, so
what is your problem?"
"Well," the young man said reluctantly, "I have a problem with
erections. Once I get hard, it won't go down for hours and hours, no
matter how much I masturbate or how many times I have intercourse!
Please, can you give me something for it?"
"I'll have to go in the back and talk to my sister," she informed
him. About ten minutes later she came back.
"Young man, I have consulted with my sister and the best we can give you is $600 a week and a third interest in the pharmacy."

One day a young man went to a pharmacy and asked the little old lady behind the counter if he could speak with the pharmacist. "I am the pharmacist," she informed him. "Oh, in that case forget it," he replied and started to leave. "Young man," the lady said to him, "my sister and I have been pharmacists for forty years and there is nothing we haven't heard, so what is your problem?" "Well," the young man said reluctantly, "I have a problem with erections. Once I get hard, it won't go down for hours and hours, no matter how much I have intercourse! Please, can you give me something for it? "I'll have to go in the back and talk to my sister." she informed him. About ten minutes later she came back. "Young man, I have consulted with my sister and the best we can give you is $1000 a week and a third interest in the pharmacy."

Always be well informed
A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said,"Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. Changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
Once again the priest apologized. "Sorry sister, but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful glance, and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a Bible and looked up Psalm 129.
It said, "Go forth and seek. Further on, you will find more...

A keen analyst: Thoroughly confused.
Accepts new job assignments willingly: Never finishes a job.
Active socially: Drinks heavily.
Alert to company developments: An office gossip.
Approaches difficult problems with logic: Finds someone else to do the job.
Average: Not too bright.
Bridge builder: Likes to compromise.
Character above reproach: Still one step ahead of the law.
Charismatic: No interest in any opinion but his own.
Competent: Is still able to get work done if supervisor helps.
Conscientious and careful: Scared.
Consults with co-workers often: Indecisive, confused, and clueless.
Consults with supervisor often: Very annoying.
Delegates responsibility effectively: Passes the buck well.
Demonstrates qualities of leadership: Has a loud voice.
Displays excellent intuitive judgement: Knows when to disappear.
Displays great dexterity and agility: Dodges and evades superiors well.
Enjoys job: Needs more...

It was a rainy night in Walnut Cove and the highway bridge was washed out. The only hotel in town was filled to capacity with motorists who couldn't get across the bridge. An elderly couple tried to get a room in a hotel, but were turned away.
"Please.." the old man bemoaned, "we've traveled all day, we're old and feeble, and we are too tired to travel any further."
The hotel clerk felt sorry for the couple, so he informed them that down the road a couple of blocks was an old farmhouse which was owned by an elderly farmer and his wife and that they were deaf. He informed them that this deaf couple had helped the hotel in the past by making rooms available to hotel guests when the hotel was full. He told them, "Just walk into the farmhouse because they won't be able to hear you knocking on the door. The deaf farmer and his wife will know you need a room for the night."
Off they went. When they walked into the farmhouse, they were shocked to see more...

Hotel LettersThe following letters were taken from an actual incident between aLondon hotel and one of its guests. The hotel submitted the letters to the London SundayTimes for their humor column....Dear Maid, Please do not leave any more of those little barsof soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the sixunopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in theshower soap dish. They are in my way.Thank you,
S. BermanDear Room 635, I am not your regular maid. She will be backtomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dishas you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of yourKleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I lefttoday which my instructions from the management is to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this issatisfactory.Kathy,
Relief MaidDear Maid, I hope you are my regular maid. more...

A man went to the store with his 3-year-old daughter in tow. Since he was just there to grab some essentials like milk and bread, he opted to save some time by not pushing a cart around the store.

"That's not the way Mommy does it," his daughter informed him.

"I know, dear, but Daddy's way is OK, too," he replied.

Leaving the store in the rain and without a cart, he carried the bag of groceries, his daughter, and the milk quickly to the car. Not wanting to set anything down on the wet ground, he set the jug of milk on top of the car, efficiently whisked open the car door with his now free hand, scooted the groceries in and set his daughter into the car seat in one swift motion. Then he hopped in himself.

"That's not the way Mommy does it," his daughter informed him again.

"Honey, there's more than one way to do things," he replied patiently. "Daddy's way is OK, too."

As more...