Incredible Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Voodoo Dick

    Hot 7 years ago

    Once upon a time, there once was a traveling salesman who's wife was a well known sex addict. But because the man could not be home all of the time, he often worried about his wife's faithfulness. He had noticed that she had been eyeing the young neighbor boy who cut their lawn recently. So one day the man decided to try to do something about this. After work the man entered a sexual aid shop and asked the owner to show him the selection of dildos.
    "Why yes, of course." said the owner, "We have a very wide selection."
    But after looking for quite a long time, the man just did not find anything that satisfied him.
    "Well, maybe I have just what you need." remarked the owner, "Wait here."
    And with that, the owner ran into the back and started digging around for quite some time. After about twenty minutes, the owner finally came out carrying a strange, rectangular box with ancient writing all over it. He set the box down on the more...

    A man met a beautiful

    Hot 7 years ago

    A man met a beautiful blonde lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away. She said, "But we don't know anything about each other."He said, "That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along."So she consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort. One morning they were laying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 Meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer, this was followed by a three rotations in jackknife position, where he straightened out
    and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel.She said," That was incredible!"He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about ourselves as we went along!"So she got up, jumped in the pool, and started doing laps. After about thirty laps she climbed back out and lay down on her towel hardly out of breath.He said, more...

    A group of Americans was touring a market in India when Mr. Beesley noticed a local man watering his elephant. Strolling over and taking the man's picture, Beesley wondered if he had time to do some exploring on his own. Having left his watch at the hotel, he said, "I wonder, sir, if you could tell me the time?"
    The Indian nodded, then reached out and took the elephant's balls in his hand, shifting them slightly.
    "It's five of one," he said after a moment.
    "Good God!" gasped the American. "That's incredible. Wait here, I've got to tell the others."
    Rushing back to the group and telling them what he'd seen, he brought them over to the owner of the elephant and once again asked for the time. And once again the Indian reached out, cupped the elephant's balls in his hand as though weighing them, then moved them to one side and declared, "It is seven minutes past one."
    One of the group members checked her watch and more...

    Venice

    Hot 3 years ago

    A man met a beautiful blonde lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away. She said, "But we don't know anything about each other."
    He said, "That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along." So she consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort.
    One morning they were laying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 Meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer, this was followed by a three rotations in jackknife position, where he straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel.
    She said," That was incredible!"
    He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about ourselves as we went along."
    So she got up, jumped in the pool, and started doing laps. After about thirty laps she climbed back out and lay down on her towel hardly out more...

    The Incredible Golf Ball

    Hot 3 years ago

    Two Golfers were approaching the first tee.

    The first guy goes into his golf bag to get a ball and says to his friend - "Hey, why don't you try this ball." He draws a green golf ball out of his bag.
    "Use this one - You can't lose it!"

    His friend replies, "What do you mean you can't lose it?!!"
    The first man replies, "I'm serious, you can't lose it.

    If you hit it into the woods, it makes a beeping sound, if you hit it into the water it produces bubbles, and if you hit it on the fairway, smoke comes up in order for you to find it."

    Obviously, his friend doesn't believe him, but he shows him all the possibilities until he is convinced. The friend says, "Wow! That's incredible! Where did you get that ball?"

    The man replies, "I found it."

    (Think about it... it'll come to you: )

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