The lawyer cabled his client overseas:' Your mother-in-law passed away in her sleep. Shall we order burial, embalming or cremation?'
Back came the reply,' Take no chances - order all three.'
Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a three-piece suit.
"This young lawyer agreed to marry my daughter," said one.
"No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other.
And so they haggled before the King until he called for silence.
"Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall hew the young attorney in half. Each of you shall receive a half."
"Sounds good to me," said the first lady.
But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman's daughter marry him."
The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "The attorney must marry the first lady's daughter," he proclaimed.
"But she was willing to hew him in two!" exclaimed the king's court.
"Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows she is the TRUE more...
Q: What is the difference between in-laws and out-laws?
A: Out-laws are wanted.
You know you're a redneck if...
You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
Q: What is the difference between outlaws and in-laws?
A: Outlaws are wanted.