97 year old man comes to his doctor looking depressed.He says "Doc, I think I'm impotent." Doctor sits himdown and begins the standard speech he gives to seniorcitizens, about how as the body ages bodily functionsslow down and it is completely normal to suffer somedecrease in sexual desire. How the man shouldn't worryor become upset about it, but should just relax andthings will probably be completely fine andblah blah blah. Finally the doctor asks "Whendid you first begin to think you were impotent?""Three times last night, and again this morning."
A woman went to her doctor and complained that her husband was 300% impotent.
The doctor replied, "I'm not sure I understand what you mean."
She answered, "Well, the first 100% you can imagine. In addition, he burned his tongue and broke his finger!"
An impotent farmer was having trouble in bed for close to a year now and he just didn't know what to do. He ate Viagra like M&M's but it never seemed to help. Well anyways the farmer had a couple cows that he wanted to breed, and he went down to his neighbor farmer to ask to borrow a bull for a day. The neighbor farmer said yes, and the impotant farmer loaded the bull into the box of his pickup. When he got back home he put the bull in with the lady cows. The lady cows were sure interested in the bull, but the bull would not go near them for some odd reason. The impotent farmer went back to his neighbors and asked why the bull wouldn't screw his cows. The other farmer said "Oh sorry bout dat he gets like that sometimes, what you otta do is stick your finger there in one uh yah lady cows pussy's and rub it on his nose."
The impotent farmer went home and tried it on the bull, and sure enough the bull got all three cows and went back for more about five minutes later. The more...
Frances Townsend, President Bush's national security adviser, said that Osama bin Laden may be grabbing headlines with a new videotape, but he is "virtually impotent".
So I guess this means that Osama can still f**k us, he just can't get us pregnant.
Q: What's the definition of an Impotent Loser?
A: A guy who can't even get his hopes up.