Immigrants Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Mayor Bloomberg said that New York City will "collapse" if illegal immigrants are deported. He added, "Immigrants do the jobs that Americans won't and, like it or not, happy endings are a job."

    Newly arrived in the U.S., immigrants Mario and Luigi go to the urban unemployment office.
    "What line of work are you in?" the agent asks Mario.
    "I pilot," replies Mario.
    "I'm sure I can find a place for you," says the efficient woman, handing him an application to fill out. Then she turns to Luigi, "And what kind of work do you do?"
    "I lumberjack," he answers.
    "Hmmmmm... I'm afraid we don't have any openings for lumberjacks."
    Suddenly Mario looks up. "Hey, you must be crazy, lady!"
    The agent is taken aback. "What are you talking about?"
    "Well, if he no cut it, how you expect me to pile it?"

    A group of Middle Eastern immigrants has sued the federal government, claiming their citizenship applications were intentionally slowed by agents.
    Don't they know that waiting in line for government services without cause is the surest sign that they're already Americans?

    One hundred illegal immigrants were found stranded in an Arizona desert. Despite their dehydration, the immigrants managed to turn the landscape into a veritable paradise.

    Hollywood, CA - Road-comedian Billy Spado, 43, raised the standup comedy bar to staggering new heights on Tuesday at Hollywood's own The Comedy Store with brilliantly hilarious cracks about the US-Mexican border, as well as Britney Spears recent performance at the VMA awards show. Spado's unique style of observational humor left the 90-person audience breathless from laughter.

    "Bush should build a wall along the Mexican border to keep out illegal immigrants. And you know who's gonna build that wall? The illegal Mexican immigrants, that's who!" Spado exclaimed to a cheering crowd.

    Spado's crack about Spears' VMA performance was a stunningly brilliant sight gag that we can't really put into words, but trust us, it absolutely slaughtered the crowd.

    Spado will be here all week.

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