Ignition Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    HelpLine: General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?

    Customer: I got in my car and closed the door and nothing happened!

    HelpLine: Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?

    Customer: What's an ignition?

    HelpLine: It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine.

    Customer: Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all these technical terms just to use my car?

    HelpLine: General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?

    Customer: My car ran fine for a week and now it won't go anywhere!

    HelpLine: Is the gas tank empty?

    Customer: Huh? How do I know?

    HelpLine: There's a little gauge on the front panel with a needle and markings from' E' to' F'. Where is the needle pointing?

    Customer: It's pointing to' E'. What does that mean?

    HelpLine: It means you have to visit a gasoline vendor and purchase some more more...

    General Motors doesn't have a help line for people who don't know how to drive, because people don't buy cars like they buy computers, but imagine if they did...
    HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
    Customer: "I got in my car and closed the door and nothing happened!"
    HelpLine: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?"
    Customer: "What's an ignition?"
    HelpLine: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine."
    Customer: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all these technical terms just to use my car?"
    HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
    Customer: "My car ran fine for a week and now it won't go anywhere!"
    HelpLine: "Is the gas tank empty?" Customer: "Huh? How do I know?"
    HelpLine: "There's a little gauge on the front panel with a more...

    General Motors doesn't have a "help line" for people who don't know how to drive, because people don't buy/use cars like they buy/use computers -- but imagine if they did. . .
    HELPLINE: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
    CUSTOMER: "I got in my car and closed the door, and nothing happened!"
    HELPLINE: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?"
    CUSTOMER: "What's an ignition?"
    HELPLINE: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine."
    CUSTOMER: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all of these technical terms just to use my car?"
    -----------------------------------------
    HELPLINE: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
    CUSTOMER: "My car ran fine for a week, and now it won't go anywhere!"
    HELPLINE: "Is the gas tank empty?"
    CUSTOMER: "Huh? more...

    One day a husband was chiding his beautiful blonde wife about leaving her keys in the ignition of her car.

    "If I take them out of the car I lose them," she reasoned.

    "Yes dear, but what if someone steals your car?" the husband countered.

    "Oh that's okay," the wife chirped happily, "I keep a spare key in the glove box!"

    General Motors doesn't have a help line for people who don't know how to drive. Imagine if they did...

    HelpLine: General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?

    Customer: I got in my car and closed the door and nothing happened!

    HelpLine: Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?

    Customer: What's an ignition?

    HelpLine: It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine.

    Customer: Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all these technical terms just to use my car?

    HelpLine: General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?

    Customer: My car ran fine for a week and now it won't go anywhere!

    HelpLine: Is the gas tank empty?

    Customer: Huh? How do I know?

    HelpLine: There's a little gauge on the front panel with a needle and markings from' E' to' F'. Where is the needle pointing?

    Customer: It's pointing to' more...

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