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    Computer acronyms list

    Hot 7 years ago

    Humorous Computer-Related Acronyms


    I Blame Microsoft

    Idiots Buy Me

    Idiots Building Machines

    I'll Buy Macintoshes

    It Bit Me

    It Built Microsoft

    It's Better Manually

    I've Been Mislead

    I've Been Mugged


    Well, It Never Does Operate With Speed

    When I Need Data Output Without Speed

    While Idle, Needs DX or WorkStation

    Will Install Needless Data On Whole System


    Whoppingly Immense NOP

    Worm Infestation Netware


    My Solitaire With Its New De-accelerator, Only With Some Network Technology

    Well Intended, Netword De-accelerator, Only Works Sometimes, Never Totally

    WINDOWS (as a) Network Trojan

    Different Operating Systems Expectations

    Macintosh: What You See Is What You Get

    MS-DOS: You Asked more...

    Part 9 - (The Future of Real Programmers) - the final part
    What of future? It is a matter of some concern to Real Programmers that the latest generation of
    computer programmers are not being brought up with the same outlook on life as their elders. Many of
    them have never seen a computer with a front panel. Hardly anyone graduating from school these days
    can do hex arithmetic without a calculator. College graduates these days are soft - protected from the
    realities of programming by source level debuggers, text editors that count parentheses, and "user friendly"
    opearing systems. Worst of all, some of these alleged "computer scientists" manage to get degrees without
    ever learning FORTRAN! Are we destined to become an industry of Unix hackers and PASCAL
    From my experience, I can only report that the furure is bright for Real Programmers everywhere. more...

    Computer novices may feel like they're alone these days, but some of the following calls to IBM's help center show there are plenty of people out there who still are inching onto the information superhighway.

    After a caller gave a technician her PC's serial number, he scanned a database of registered users and responded, "I see you have an Aptiva" desktop unit. Before he could say another word, the caller shrieked and said she'd be right back. When the customer returned, the technician asked if she was all right. The caller responded: "Had I realized you could see me, I never would have telephoned in my bathrobe."

    A customer who had just received a laptop computer asked about the power-saving feature known as "hibernate." Would this hibernate device work in the spring and summer, the caller asked.

    Another caller explained she had received a gift of software on 5. 25-inch diskettes, but she had only a 3. 5-inch disk drive more...

    If IBM ran Christmas...
    They would want one big Santa, dressed in blue, where kids queue up for
    their present-processing. Receiving presents would take about 24-36
    hours of mainframe processing time.
    If Microsoft ran Christmas...
    Each time you bought an ornament, you would have to buy a tree as well.
    You wouldn't have to take the tree, but you still have to pay for it
    anyway. Ornament/95 would weigh 1500 pounds (requiring a reinforced
    steel countertop tree), draw enough electricity to power a small city,
    take up 95% of the space in your living room, would claim to be the
    first ornament that uses the colors red/green together. It would
    interrogate your other decorations to find out who made them. Most
    everyone would hate Microsoft ornaments, but nonetheless would buy them
    since most of the other tree types wouldn't work with their hooks.
    If Apple ran Christmas...
    It would do everything the Microsoft ornaments more...

    ' Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons.' --Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science,1949

    'I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.' --Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

    'I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year.' --The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957

    'But what. .. is it good for?' --Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.

    'There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.' --Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

    'The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a' C,' the idea must be feasible.' --A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable more...

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