Humorous Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in time sheets that specify large amounts of Miscellaneous Unproductive Time (code 5309). To our department, unproductive time is not a problem. What is a problem, however, is not knowing exactly what you are doing with your unproductive time.

    The newly installed Activity Based Costing Financial System requires additional information to achieve its goals. Attached below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended job code list based on our observations of employee activities. The list will allow you to specify with better precision what you are doing during your unproductive time.

    Please begin using this job code list immediately and let us know about any difficulties you may encounter.

    Extended Task Code List Code # Explanation:

    5000 Surfing the Net
    5001 Reading/Writing Social Email
    5002 Sharing Social E-Mail (see codes #5003, #5004)
    5003 Collecting Jokes more...

    Humorous Computer-Related AcronymsIBM I Blame Microsoft Idiots Buy Me Idiots Building Machines I'll Buy Macintoshes It Bit Me It Built Microsoft It's Better Manually I've Been Mislead I've Been Mugged WINDOWS Well, It Never Does Operate With Speed When I Need Data Output Without Speed While Idle, Needs DX or WorkStation Will Install Needless Data On Whole System WIN Whoppingly Immense NOP Worm Infestation Netware MS-WINDOWS NT / WINDOWS NT My Solitaire With Its New De-accelerator, Only With Some Network Technology Well Intended, Netword De-accelerator, Only Works Sometimes, Never Totally WINDOWS (as a) Network Trojan Different Operating Systems ExpectationsMacintosh: What You See Is What You Get MS-DOS: You Asked For It, You Got It UNIX: IfUHv2sk, UDntWnt2Kno VMS: You Got It, All Of It, Want It Or Not Random Abbreviations for Many Computer CompaniesAPPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity DEC: Dump Everything and Close DEC: Do Expect Cuts HCL: Hilarious Computer Logic HP: Hot more...

    It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in time sheets that specify large amounts of miscellaneous unproductive time.
    It has become a problem not knowing exactly what you are doing with your unproductive time. Below is a list of new job codes and a description for each code based on observations of employee activities. The list will allow you to specify with better precision what you are doing during your unproductive time.
    Please begin using this job code list immediately!

    05000 Surfing the Net
    05001 Reading/Writing Social E-mail
    05002 Sharing Social E-Mail (see codes 05003, 05004)
    05003 Collecting Jokes and Other Humorous Material via E-Mail
    05004 Forwarding Jokes and Other Humorous Material via E-Mail
    05005 Faxing Jokes and Other Humorous Material to Friends not on E-Mail
    05317 Obstructing communications at meeting
    05318 Trying to sound knowledgeable while in Meeting
    05319 Waiting for more...

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