Houston Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day a proud mother entered the record compagny. "My daughter is a real Popstar! She sings just like Withney Houston."
The manager replied: "I can hardly believe that".
"But I brought a tape, you listen to that!", urged the mother. She handed over her tape.
The manager put in his tape-deck. A golden voice filled the room and the manager closed his eyes and enjoyed the singing. When the song was finished, he opened his eyes and said: "But that was Withney Houston!"
"Yes, and my daughter sings just like that."

A Houston man is under arrest after picking up a knife and throwing it at another man who was sharing his hotel room after he passed gas in it.
The man defended himself for the knife-throwing incident, telling police he was only trying to cut the cheese.

Moon MissionNASA is launching a rocket to the moon. On board there are two pigs and Kiki, a stunning blonde. When the rocket is outside the stratosphere, the first stage drops off.Contact is made: "Houston here, Pig 1, Pig 1, do you read us? Over.""Oink, oink, here Pig 1, read you loud and clear.""Pig 1, do you still know your instructions?""Yes, when we get to the moon, I press the red button to initiate the moon landing. Over.""That's right. Over and out."They go on until the rocket separates its booster stage."Hello, Pig 2? Come in please.""Oink, oink, here Pig 2, read you loud and clear.""OK, Pig 2 do you remember your instructions?""Yes, when we've landed on the moon and are ready to leave, I press on the green button to initiate the launch program.""That's right, Pig 2. Over and out."An hour later, when the rocket has achieved the correct speed the last stage drops off as planned. more...

Pittsburgh, PA -- (Sports Network) - Roy Oswalt combined with three other Houston pitchers to shut out Pittsburgh, 3-0, and the Astros won their ninth straight contest to climb within a half-game of the lead in the NL Central.

Houston, TX -- (Houston Chronicle) - Pittsburgh blamed their lose on a news article they read, "The Harris County Health Department handed out fliers warning residents that a bat in their area tested positive for rabies. Officials said everyone should avoid direct contact with any bat."
Whew, way to go Pittsburgh!

An unruly guy in Houston,Texas begged a cop not to Taser him.He kept yelling that he had a plate in his head and couldn't be Tasered.The man panicked and lunged for the cop's Taser,at which point,he was shot dead.So pick your poison Tex.

The NASA is launching a rocket to the moon. On board there are two pigs and Kiki, a stunning blond.
When the rocket is outside the stratosphere, the first stage drops off. Contact is made: "Houston here, Pig 1, Pig 1, do you read us, over."
"Oink, oink, here Pig1, read you loud and clear"
"Pig 1, do you still know your instructions?"
"Yes, when we get to the moon, I press the red button to initiate the moon landing, over."
"That's right. Over and out."
They go on until the rocket separates its booster stage. "Hallo, Pig2, Here Houston, come in please."
"Oink, oink, here Pig 2, read you loud and clear."
"OK, Pig 2 do you remember your instructions?"
"Yes, when we've landed on the moon and are ready to leave, I press on the green button to initiate the launch program."
"That's right. Over and out."
An hour later when the rocket has more...

The plane is on its way to Houston, when a blonde in economy class gets up
and moves to the first class section and sits down.
The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She
then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class and that she will
have to sit back in her seat.
The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Houston, and
I'm staying right here."
The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and the
co-pilot that there is a blonde sitting in first class who belongs in
economy and won't move back to her seat.
The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she
only paid for economy, she will have to leave and return to her seat.
The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Houston, and
I'm staying right here."
The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police
waiting when they land more...