Horror Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A guy enters a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, "Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight. I've never had three girls at once. I need something to keep me horny.. keep me potent."
    The pharmacist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out a small cardboard box marked with a label "Viagra Extra Strength" and says, "Here, if you eat this, you'll go nuts for twelve hours."
    The guy says, "Gimme three boxes."
    The next day, the guy walks into the same pharmacy, limps up to the pharmacist and pulls down his pants. The pharmacist looks in horror as he notices the man's penis is black and blue, and skin is hanging off in some areas.
    The man says, "Gimme a bottle of Deep Heat."
    The pharmacist replies in horror, "You can't put Deep Heat on that!"
    The man says, "No, it's for my arms, the girls didn't show up."

    Chain Letter Type IIIHi there! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This isabsolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not asmany little 8 year olds writing chain letters. So this is how it works. Passthis on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible willhappen to you like:Queer Horror Story #1Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recentlyreceived this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in theside walk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood ofpoop, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!! Queer Horror Story #2Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, somepeople swing that way, especially at Oklahoma City University). They bothdied and went to hell. They continued to suffer in hell where they were more...

    Fairy tales: horror stories for children to get them use to reality.

    A guy walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, "Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight. I've never had three girls at once. I need something to keep me horny.. keep me potent."
    The pharmacist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out a small cardboard box marked with a label **Viagra Extra Strength** and says, "Here, if you eat this, you'll go nuts for twelve hours."
    The guy says, "Gimme three boxes."
    The next day, the guy walks into the same pharmacy, limps up to the pharmacist and pulls down his pants. The pharmacist looks in horror as he notices the man's penis is black and blue, and skin is hanging off in some places.
    In a pained voice, the man moans out, "Gimme a bottle of Deep Heat."
    The pharmacist replies in horror, "You can't put Deep Heat on that!"
    The man replies, "No, it's for my arms, the girls didn't show up."

    'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through our house
    was blasting the "St. Vitus Dance" by Bauhaus;
    Torn fishnets were draped on my forearms with care,
    And two cans of Aquanet applied to my hair;
    My thoughts were of graveyards, and horror and dread,
    Black visions of pain and despair in my head;
    And Bianca, whose face was as pale as the moon,
    Had thrown up her arm for this evening's swoon,
    When out by the gravestones there came such a clatter,
    I sprang from the coffin to find out the matter.

    Away to the window I flew like a ghost,
    Expecting to find a dark devilish host.
    The moon on the breast of the uncaring snow
    Threw ominous shadows on objects below,
    When, before my tormented eyes did traverse,
    But a gorgeous black Crane & Breed carved-panel hearse,
    With a gaunt, shrouded driver, who filled me with fear,
    And eight skeletal creatures that might have been deer.
    More rapid more...

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