Holster Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world. He practiced every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn't yet first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong.
    One Saturday night, as he was sitting in the saloon, he recognized an elderly man seated at the bar who had the reputation of being the fastest gun in the West in his day.
    The young cowboy took the seat next to the old-timer, bought him a drink, and told him the story of his great ambition.
    "Could you possibly give me some tips?" he asked.
    The old man looked him up and down and said, "Well, for one thing, you're wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster a little lower down on your leg."
    "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.
    "Yep, sure will," said the old-timer.
    The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his .44 and more...

    It's 1880, the decade of gunslingers and gentlemen. This is a story of one such young man that wanted more than anything to be the fastest and most respected gunslinger in the west.The place was Dodge City, Kansas in the Sawdust Saloon. The young man walked into the Sawdust Saloon and, to his surprise, saw Wyatt Earp sitting at a table playing poker. The young man walked up to Wyatt and said, "Mr. Earp, I would like to be a gunslinger just like you. Could you give me some tips?"Wyatt put his cards down, looked up at the boy and said, "Son, I don't usually give out tips like this cause it could someday be detrimental to my health, but step back and let me take a look at you."The boy stepped back and Mr. Earp said, "You look good. You're wearing black, you've got two ivory handled guns with waxed holsters, and you look like a gunslinger. But what's more important, son, is: Can you shoot?"The young man, happy to show how good he was, quickly drew his pistol more...

    Morris, as a young man in the Old West, wanted to be the best gunfighter alive. One night as he was sitting in a saloon, he spotted an old man who had the reputation of being the greatest gunfighter in his day. So Morris walked up to the old man and told him his dream. The old man looked him up and down and said, "I have a suggestion that is sure to help."
    "Tell me, tell me," said the young man.
    "Tie the bottom of your holster lower onto your leg."
    "Will that make me a better gunfighter?"
    "Definitely," said the old man.
    Young Morris did what he was told and drew his gun and shot the bow tie off the piano player. "Wow, that really helped. Do you have any more suggestions?"
    "Yeah, if you cut a notch in the top of your holster where the hammer hits, the gun will come out smoother."
    "Will that make me a better gunfighter?"
    "It sure will," said the old man.
    The more...

    It's 1880, the decade of gunslingers and gentlemen. This is a story of one such young man that wanted more than anything to be the fastest and most respected gunslinger in the west. The place was Dodge City, Kansas in the Sawdust Saloon. The young man walked into the Sawdust Saloon and, to his surprise, saw Wyatt Earp sitting at a table playing poker. The young man walked up to Wyatt and said, "Mr. Earp, I would like to be a gunslinger just like you. Could you give me some tips?" Wyatt put his cards down, looked up at the boy and said, "Son, I don't usually give out tips like this cause it could someday be detrimental to my health, but step back and let me take a look at you." The boy stepped back and Mr. Earp said, "You look good. You're wearing black, you've got two ivory handled guns with waxed holsters, and you look like a gunslinger. But what's more important, son, is: Can you shoot?" The young man, happy to show how good he was, quickly drew his more...

    The young dude in the Old West wanted to be the fastest gunfighter alive.
    Sitting in a saloon one night, he spotted an old graybeard who had the reputation of having been the greatest gunslinger of his day. The kid went up to the old man and told him of his dream. The ancient legend looked him up and down and said, "I got a suggestion that's sure to help."
    "Tell me, Tell me!" said the young dude.
    "Tie the bottom of your holster lower down on your leg."
    "Will that make me a better gunfighter?"
    "You damn betcha," said the old man.
    The kid did as he was told, drew his gun, and neatly shot the bow tie off the piano player. "Wow, that really helped! Got any more suggestions?"
    "Yeah - If'n you cut a notch in the top of your holster where the hammer hits, the gun'll slide out a lot smoother."
    "Will that make me a better gunfighter?"
    "You damn betcha."
    The dude did more...

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