Hitler Jokes / Recent Jokes
Why did Hitler commit suicide?
- He got his gas bill
Adolf Hitler dies and finds himself in front of the door of Hell. He knocks, Satan opens the door and asks: "What's your name?"
"Adolf Hitler", he replies. Satan is flabbergasted. "Adolf Hitler? I know what you did on Earth and there's not way I am going to take you in. Indeed, this is Hell, but there's a limit to everything. Hey, why don't you go to Heaven? Follow the road, there's a big door on the right, you can't miss it."
Elated by this stroke of luck, Hitler starts walking towards Heaven.
The following day, there's a knock at the door of Hell. Satan opens and finds Jesus standing outside.
"Jesus, what are you doing here?", he asks, surprised.
And Jesus replies: "I just escaped from the camp and would like to apply for political asylum!"
Bill Clinton dies and goes to hell. Satan is giving him a VIP tour, showing him his options for spending eternity.They come to a room marked "Hitler." Inside is Eva Braun, torturing Adolf Hitler with red-hot irons. Every time Hitler tries to escape, Eva applies another iron. "I can't spend eternity like that," says Clinton. "Show me something else." Satan takes him to another room marked "Jack the Ripper."Inside are three mutilated prostitutes, stretching Jack on the rack.Every time Jack screams, the whores turn the wheel a little more. "I can't spend eternity like that, either," says Clinton. "Show me something better." Satan takes Bill to the last door.Inside, Kenneth Starr is being held up to the wall with chains around his wrists. At his groin is Monica Lewinsky giving him oral sex. Bill smiles. "Yes!" he shouts, "that's for me." Satan smirks and says "Good choice, Mr. President."He looks more...
hitler says to the jews "hitler is feling generous today im goneing to let half of you go if one of you can climb this wall" the jews shout out with excitment then hitler says "you in the weelchair start climbing" :)
I want to go back to the period when Hitler was just in charge and the german jews where discriminated but still alive even though desperate.There is joke of this time:
Aaron meets Moshe in Berlin and asks him what he has done the whole day long.
"I was at the funeral of Hitler!" he replies.
"And how was it, what happened there"
"Oh.it was surprising" says Moshe "First they let the coffin down in the hole, but then pulled it out, then let it down again, pulled it out again and so on. About ten or twelve times!"
"But why?" askes Aaron astonished.
"Oh, thats no wonder, with this enormous applause he had!!!"
One day Hitler, Saddam, and Bin Laden went to a gate to see if their going HEAVEN orHELL Hitler told this one guy that he started a war. Then the guy said to go to the left. Then Saddam said bush wanted me to start a war. Then the guy said ok go to the right. Then Bin Laden said i accidently blew up a plain. Then the guy said go right. Hitler said hey why are they going to heaven? then the guy said because they didnt do anything bad. Then Hitler said can i go warm up their place?
Q: What is the difference between Hitler and Bill Clinton?
A: Hitler intended to deliver on his speeches.