Why did Hitler commit suicide?
- He got his gas bill
man looks down the bar and sees a man that looks like adolph hitler he walks up to him and says are you hitler? the man stands up and says real loud yes i am adolph hitler i killed 6 million jews and 3 clowns, the man says why did you kill 3 clowns? hitlers says see what i mean, no one cares about the jews.
One day St. Peter visited Hell to make certain that the sinners were being adequately punished. During his tour he noticed that Hitler was standing in feces up to his chin. Surprisingly, the Fuhrer was smiling.
"I don't understand," sasid St. Peter. "How can you smile when you'll be spending all of eternity in excrement?"
Hitler replied, "I'm smiling because I'm standing on Mussolini's shoulders."
A guy walks into a bar in Argentina. He sees a familiar character, albeit much older now, sitting at the bar. He approaches, examines his face, and asks:
"Excuse me, but aren't you Adolf Hitler?"
"Vy yes, I am Adolf Hitler."
"But I thought you were dead!"
"Ach. I get a lot of dat. But in fact, I am chust biding my time, planning a scheme to kill fifty million Jews and eight of der Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders."
"What?" the guy exclaims. "Why would you want to kill eight of the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders?"
Hitler turns to another fellow sitting at the bar next to him. "You see vat I mean? Nobody gives a damn about da Jews!!!"
Hitler must have been a really persuasive speaker. You’d have to be to convince your new bride that a suicide pact counts as a honeymoon.