Heroin Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Bazooka Blow

    Hot 6 years ago

    In a bid to resolve a sticky mess, a judge has decided that an Argentine company can continue making its own Bazooka gum even though its relationship with gum company that made the brand famous has long since soured.
    After hearing the news, Bazooka CFO Joseph G. Epstein (aka "Bazooka Joe) was so unbelievably distraught he apparently comitted suicide.
    Authorities claim the cause of death was an overdose of a lethal cocktail of pure heroin, "Pop Rocks" and tropical flavored "Razzles"

    Bazooka Joe
    Comic Icon, U.S. Senator, Eye-Patch Supermodel, Famous Nazi Hunter
    1933-2006

    New Turkey Recipe

    Hot 5 years ago

    7lb. Turkey
    2 TBS. Butter
    5 grams Heroin
    Salt and Pepper to taste
    Balloon

    Rinse Turkey well and place in roasting pan breast side down. Grease Turkey with butter. Place Heroin in Balloon and shove it into Turkey cavity. Salt and Pepper. Cover and place in oven at 350 for 7 hours or until the balloon busts. Let cool for 30 minutes. Carve and Enjoy!

    Tainted heroin flooding the streets of Detroit has killed 48 users in 12 days. The mayor, who pledged to clean up the city, told a crowd of cheering supporters, "You ain't seen nothing yet!"

    One day when Jimmy was at school, the teacher told him that for his homework he had to write out the first three letters of the alphabet.
    When he went home he was struggling so decided to ask his mum. His mum was in the kitchen cutting the salad when he asked her "Mum, what is the first letter of the alphabet?"
    Just as he had finished asking this question his mum sliced her finger open and shouted "SHIT!!!"
    Jimmy wrote this down and went outside to see his older brother.
    He asked him "big brother, whet is the second letter of the alphabet?"
    His brother was crouched on the floor talking to a drugged up teenager and jimmy heard him say "only if you give me some heroin!"
    Jimmy wrote this down and went into the living room and saw his little sister watching superman.
    "Sister, what is the third letter of the alphabet?"
    His sisters eyes were fixed on the the TV and she ignored Jimmy. "Superman!!!" more...

    Heroin users should avoid the drug because some supplies have been tainted with a powerful painkiller blamed for hundreds of deaths nationwide since mid-April, law enforcement officials urged on Tuesday.
    Rather, the D.E.A. suggests addicts downgrade to crystal meth for a few weeks just to be safe, until they officially clear the tracks for the H-train again.
    Your cooperation in this matter is greatly appreciated.

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