Herder Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    There are three guys walking together along the Welsh/English border...a Welshman, a Scot, and an Englishman. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out,' I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes.'

    To this, the Scot says' I am a sheep herder. My dad's a sheep herder, his dad was a sheep herder, and my son will be one too. I want my country to be full of lovely sheep farms'...' FOOM!' all the land in Scotland was full of an infinite supply of sheep farms.

    The Englishman was amazed. He said' I want a wall around England to keep those damned Scots and Welsh out'...' FOOM!!' there was a wall around England.

    The Welshman says' Tell me more about this wall.'

    The genie says' Well, its about 200 feet high, 100 feet thick, it goes all around England, and nothing can get in or out.'

    After a moment of consideration, the Welshman says' Fill it with water.'

    Makeover

    Hot 3 years ago

    There was a blonde named Candi. She had long, blonde hair, blue eyes, and she was sick of all the blonde jokes. So one day, she decided to get a makeover, so she cut and dyed her hair. She also went out and bought a new convertible.

    With her new car, she went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the shepherd over.

    "That's a nice flock of sheep," she said.

    "Well, thank you," said the herder.

    "Tell you what... I have a proposition for you," said the woman.

    "Okay," replied the herder.

    "If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?" asked the woman.

    "Sure."

    So, the girl sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied, "382."

    "Wow!" said the herder, "That's amazing. You're exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep more...

    A blonde was getting tired of all the blonde jokes, and being treated as if she were stupid so one day, she decided to dye her hair and become a brunette. She then went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the shepard over. "That's a nice flock of sheep." she said.
    "Well thank you." said the herder.
    "Tell you what, I have a proposition for you." said the ex-blonde.
    "Okay," replied the herder.
    "If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?" asked the woman.
    "Sure," said the sheep herder. So the girl sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied, "382."
    "Wow," said the herder. "That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home."
    So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car. Upon watching this, the herder approached the woman and offered, more...

    A sheep herder made it in to San Antonio, Texas, after 10 years in the bush.
    He found a saloon and approached the bar tender. He told the bartender "I need a woman."
    The bartender said, "There are women all over San Antone for a price."
    The sheep herder replied, "Just any woman won't do. I ain't fucked nothin' but goats 'n sheep for the last ten years. They got cockle burrs 'n mesquite thorns around their pussy and my old dick is tough with calluses on it, and I need a good tough piece of ass."
    So the bartender tells him, "Well, you're in luck. The toughest broad in all San Antonio has a room right up stairs." The bartender picks up the phone contacts the lady, explains the situation, and tells the sheep herder to go
    on up.
    The sheep herder gets a small ice bucket with two Lone Star long necks (the favorite brew in San Atone), and proceeds up the stairs.
    When he gets to the room he says, "The barkeep told me you more...

    Once upon a time there was a blonde. She had long, blonde hair, blue eyes and she was sick of all the blonde jokes.
    One day, she decided to get a make over, so she cut and dyed her hair. She also went out and bought a new convertible. She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the sheepherder over.
    "That's a nice flock of sheep.", she said.
    "Well thank you.", said the herder.
    v
    "Tell you what. I have a proposition for you.", said the woman.
    "Okay.", replied the herder. "If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?", asked the woman.
    "Sure.", said the sheepherder. So, the girl sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied, "382".
    "Wow.", said the herder. "That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home."
    So the woman went and picked one more...

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