Hells Jokes / Recent Jokes

A bad person dies and is greeted by Saint Peter. Peter tells the man he must choose between three hells.

The first hell is very hot and he sees a lot of people burning in fire. The next hell is freezing cold and he sees people shivering and clamoring. In the third hell, he sees people standing in shit up to their waist but they look quite happy. They are drinking a cup of coffee and are chatting with each other. So the bad person says to Peter, "I choose the third hell with all the people standing in shit up to their waist."

So Peter admits the bad person to the third hell. He gets a cup of coffee and feels quite comfortable. Suddenly he hears a beep from a loud speaker that says, "Attention. Attention. Coffee break is over. It's time to stand on your head now."

Three Hells Angels are sitting at a table in a transport cafe when in walks a Nun, takes a seat next to them and begins to eat. Astonished, one of them says, "I went to my parents wedding last week andwe all got rat-arsed." Being quick on the uptake the second one says, " My dad says he will marrymy mum next year." Despite this the Nun stays right where she is. In desperation the third one says, " My old man will never ever marry mymum." The Nun looks up from her food and says, " Would one of you bastards please pass the salt."