Helicopter Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Flood Shmud

    Hot 1 year ago

    It was flooding in California. As the flood waters were rising, a man was on the stoop of his house and another man in a row boat came by. The man in the row boat told the man on the stoop to get in and he'd save him. The man on the stoop said, no, he had faith in God and would wait for God to save him. The flood waters kept rising and the man had to go to the second floor of his house. A man in a motor boat came by and told the man in the house to get in because he had come to rescue him. The man in the house said no thank you. He had perfect faith in God and would wait for God to save him. The flood waters kept rising. Pretty soon they were up to the man's roof and he got out on the roof. A helicopter then came by, lowered a rope and the pilot shouted down in the man in the house to climb up the rope because the helicopeter had come to rescue him. The man in the house wouldn't get in. He told the pilot that he had faith in God and would wait for God to rescue him. The flood waters more...

    Helicopter Grenade

    Hot 1 year ago

    There are three guys in a helicopter and they each get to choose what they want to throw out.
    The first guys chooses an apple. So he takes an apple and throws it out.
    The second guy chooses a brick. So he takes a brick and throws it out.
    The third guy chooses a grenade. So he pulls the pin and throws it out.
    They land a while later and are walking along when they find a man rubbing his head.
    They ask, "
    What happened to you?"
    He answers, "
    An apple hit me on the head."
    They're walking along again and find a man lying unconcious on the ground.
    They ask the cop, "
    What happened to him?"
    He answers, "
    A brick hit him on the head."
    They're walking again, when they find a man laughing histerically.
    They ask, "
    What happened to you?"
    He answers, "
    I farted and the house blew up behind me!"

    God and the Deluge

    Hot 6 years ago

    (I don't remember where I heard this, but I don't think it was in church...)
    During a particularly wet winter, flood waters rise so high in one
    town that the national guard evacuates all the residents. One man
    stays behind, however, and when the water is waist-high, two national
    guardsmen in a boat motor past his house, checking for people left
    behind.
    "We're evacuating the town because of the flood! Jump in the boat
    and we'll carry you to safety!"
    But the man says, "No, don't bother; I've led a pious life, and the
    Lord will save me."
    The men in the boat shrug their shoulders and motor away. Later,
    when the water level has driven the man onto his roof, another boat
    appears.
    "Haven't you heard the town has been evacuated? Come on, we'll save
    you!"
    But the man sends them away again, saying "No, no, the Lord will save
    me!"
    The water level keeps rising until the man more...

    God Will Save Me..

    Hot 6 years ago

    There came a big flood, and the water around Bhola's house was rising steadily.. Bhola was standing on the porch, watching water rising all around him, when a man in a boat came along and called to Bhola, "Get in the boat and I'll get you out of here. Bhola replied, "No thanks, God will save me." Bhola went into the house, and the water was starting to pour in. So, he went up to the second floor. As he looked out, another man in a boat came along, and he called to Bhola, "Get in the boat and I'll get you out of here." Again, Bhola replied, "No thanks. God will save me." The water kept rising. So, Bhola got out onto the roof. A helicopter flew over, and the pilot called down to Bhola, "I'll drop you a rope, grab onto it, and I'll get you out of here." Again Bhola replied, "No thanks. God will save me." The water rose and rose, and soon nearly covered the whole house. Bhola fell in, and drowned. When he arrived in Heaven, he saw more...

    Where Am I!!!

    Hot 5 years ago

    A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to steer to the airport.
    The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter's window. The pilot's sign said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters.
    People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window.
    Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER OVER SEATTLE."
    The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to the Seattle airport, and landed safely.
    After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position?
    The pilot responded "I knew that had to be the more...

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