Helen: Mum, do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday? Mum: No, dear, what? Helen: A nice teapot. Mum: But I've got a nice teapot. Helen: No you haven't. I've just dropped it.
A husband and his wife are spending a quiet evening watching TV. Suddenly, a loud knock sounds at the door.
Charlie says, "Sit still Helen, I'll see who it is."
He opens the door and is startled to see a huge masked man. He jumps back in surprise and says, "Are you a robber?"
"No, I'm a rapist!"
Charlie yells, "Helen, it's for y-o-o-u- u-u!"
Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she
Did you know Helen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard?
...Neither did she.
Heard at a rock concert at La Trobe University,
I had a major argument with my girlfriend, Helen. I was in the wrong,
but not enough to back down without an argument.
So after storming away, and cooling off, I had a think. I was
clearly in the wrong and felt pretty guilty, with all the trauma
it had caused.
So to make it up to Helen, I said I'd buy her a gift.
"Any thing at all, my love," I said, overcome with remorse.
"Oh, I don't know," replied Helen,"You really shouldn't do
this you know. But, if you are, just get me something
really expensive, that I don't need."
The following day I booked her in for chemotherapy.