Heights Jokes

Modern Heights

1. What is height of Fashion?

A. Dhoti with a zip.


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2. What is height of Secrecy?

A. Offering blank visiting cards.


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3. What is height of Active laziness?

A. Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.


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4. What is height of Craziness?

A. Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.


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5. What is height of Forgetfulness?

A. Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.


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6. What is height of Stupidity?

A. A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.

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7. What is height of Honesty?

A. A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.


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8. What is height of more...

28> Natalie Woods

27> Dickdale

26> Fredo Heights

25> Landfilladelphia

24> Mindyour Manors

23> Parton's Hills

22> Peckerwood

21> Polter Heights

20> York Hunt

19> Crapistrano

18> Marilyn Mansions

17> San Semillia

16> Thunderbird Estates

15> Dot Commons

14> Belly Acres

13> Downwind Chalupa Manor

12> Rich Olde Whitehaven

11> Tim Meadows

10> Snobschwitz

9> Tartar Crest

8> The Runs

7> Foxworthy Mobile Estates

6> Hoffa's End

5> Old Indian Burial Ground Acres

4> Burning Stream

3> Run Forest Run

2> Boxer Trails

1> Morningwood

Heights of Patriotism

"You ore sitting on an English toilet in Indian style"

Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

In answer to an advertisement for tough outdoorsy types, for a mountaineering trip, a frail, little old man appears.
The advertiser asks him, "Well, how old are you?"
The elderly fellow says, "Ninety-two, I think."
The advertiser hesitates, decides to be polite and go along. So he asks, "And are you in good health?"
The old man says, "I have such pain from my arthritis, and bursitis, and phlebitis, you wouldn't believe it."
"And have you much mountaineering experience?"
"Ach, no! I'm scared to death of heights! Such vertigo I have."
"Have you any outdoors experience at all?"
"I get outside for five minutes, and I start sneezing my head off with my allergies."
The advertiser finally begins to lose patience with the charade and bursts out, "Look, sir, I advertised for experienced mountaineers. You're quite elderly, in a lot of discomfort, you tell me you're terrified more...