A blonde, a brunette, and a readhead are told that if they jump off a certain cliff and say any word they want, they will turn into whatever they say.
The brunette jumps off and says "Eagle!", and she turns into an eagle and flies away.
The readhead jumps off and says "Hawk!", and she turns into a hawk and flies away.
The blonde gets a running start, trips on a rock, falls over the edge and yells "OH CRAP!"
One sunny day Jesus, Moses and a small, elderly man were playing golf.
Jesus was the first to tee off and he hit the ball a little left and it ended up in the water hazard. Because it was Jesus, his ball floated and when he got down to the hazard he walked upon the water and hit the ball onto the green.
Moses was the next to tee off, and like Jesus he hit the ball into the water hazard. When he got down to the hazard, he parted the waters and hit the ball onto the green.
The little old man was next, and he too hit into the water hazard. Just then a big fish swallowed the ball and began to swim away. A hawk swooped down and grabbed the fish in its talons and started to fly off. As the hawk passed over the green, it tightened its grip on the fish which caused the ball to pop out of the fish. The ball landed on the green and rolled into cup.
Jesus then turned to the old man and said, "Look Dad, if you're going to play, play fair."
there are three men. 1 finds out that there is a cliff that when you jump off you turn into the thing you shout. that man tells the others about it. they go to the cliff and the first one jumps off and shouts Sparrow; he turns into a sparrow the second man jumps off and says Hawk he turns into a hawk. the third man jogs and trips over a rock as he is about to jump off it and says, "Oh, Crap!!!" and he turns into poop.
Three animals were having a hugeargument over who was the best.The first, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to fly, he could attack anything repeatedly from above, and his prey had hardly a chance.The second, a lion, based his claim on his strength. No animal in the forest dared to challenge him.The third, a skunk, insisted he needed neither flight nor strength to frighten off any animal using his unique arsenal.As the trio debated the issue, a grizzly bear came along and swallowed them all: hawk, lion, and stinker!
Hawk and Tom were talking in the bar. Hawk said," I just got kicked off the course for breaking 60."
Tom looked at him, amazed. " Breaking 60? That's amazing!"
Hawk smiled and said," Yeah, I never knew a golf cart could go that fast!"