Haryanvi Jokes / Recent Jokes
VERY brave Haryanvi who feared nothing was employed as a keeper of lions in a zoo. The lions held him in awe and respect. The only one the Haryanvi feared was his quarrelsome wife. If he was late returning home from the local theka, she gave him hell.
One evening he was. later than usual and rather than face his irate wife decided to spend the night with the lions. The wife looked for him everywhere she thought he might be. Finally she went to the zoo and found him fast asleep resting his head on the belly of the biggest lion.
"You bloody coward!" She screamed, " Vaisey to bahut bahadur bantaisai; ajdeykh lee teyree bahaduri" (You make yourself out to be such a brave man; today I've seen what a coward you can be.)
A Haryana Jat who had been irritated by his failure to answer any of the riddles put to him by a clever bania said angrily:' All right, now you answer this riddle: What is hung on a wall, is red, drips and speaks?'
After a while the bania admitted he did not know the answer.
'It is a picture!', said the Jat triumphantly.
'A picture? It can be hung on a wall but it is not always red,' protested the bania.
'Then paint it red.'
A picture doesn't drip; its dry,' protested the bania again.
'Put fresh paint on it and it will drip.'' But whoever heard of a picture talk!'
'That's right!', replied the Jat,' I added that to make sure a cunning bania like you would not get the answer.'
A Haryanavi peasant came to the office of The Hindustan Times to place an advertisement announcing his father's death.
"The rate is Rs. 360 per single col. cm," the clerk told him.
"Main to lut jaoonga - I' ll be ruined," exclaimed the Haryanvi.
"My father was 182 cms tall.
2 Haryanvi men were searching for their lost wife in a festival at Hissar city.
First Haryanvi: How does your wife look like?
Second Haryanvi: She is 5' 7", 36-24-36 sexy figure, fair, sweet, beautiful, green sexy eyes, brown hair... And yours?
First Haryanvi: Forget mine, let us look for yours...