A Haryana Jat who had been irritated by his failure to answer any of the riddles put to him by a clever bania said angrily:' All right, now you answer this riddle: What is hung on a wall, is red, drips and speaks?'
After a while the bania admitted he did not know the answer.
'It is a picture!', said the Jat triumphantly.
'A picture? It can be hung on a wall but it is not always red,' protested the bania.
'Then paint it red.'
A picture doesn't drip; its dry,' protested the bania again.
'Put fresh paint on it and it will drip.'' But whoever heard of a picture talk!'
'That's right!', replied the Jat,' I added that to make sure a cunning bania like you would not get the answer.'
VERY brave Haryanvi who feared nothing was employed as a keeper of lions in a zoo. The lions held him in awe and respect. The only one the Haryanvi feared was his quarrelsome wife. If he was late returning home from the local theka, she gave him hell.
One evening he was. later than usual and rather than face his irate wife decided to spend the night with the lions. The wife looked for him everywhere she thought he might be. Finally she went to the zoo and found him fast asleep resting his head on the belly of the biggest lion.
"You bloody coward!" She screamed, " Vaisey to bahut bahadur bantaisai; ajdeykh lee teyree bahaduri" (You make yourself out to be such a brave man; today I've seen what a coward you can be.)
A Haryanavi peasant came to the office of The Hindustan Times to place an advertisement announcing his father's death.
"The rate is Rs. 360 per single col. cm," the clerk told him.
"Main to lut jaoonga - I' ll be ruined," exclaimed the Haryanvi.
"My father was 182 cms tall.
Seen behind a bus in Haryana:
Jaat risky, after whisky.
A man was seen walking in a drunkard manner, with anger writ large on his face, wearing a pair of somewhat tight shoes. A Haryanavi passerby who happened to go that way, stopped and asked the man, "From where did you buy such tight shoes?"
"Ae Mister, you had better mind your own business. I've plucked them from a tree! But I wonder what's that to do with you."
"Absolutely nothing. But friend, you made some haste. If you had plucked them two or three months hence they would have definitely fitted your feet well," said the Haryanavi mockingly.